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When your ex makes the decision that he actually doesn’t need therapy…but you know he does.
The following is a guest post by an anonymous author currently navigating her way through a divorce. This post is the second installment a new series, “On Divorce.” Read the first installment here.
After the initial shock of my husband saying he was going to move out so we could “work on ourselves,” the kids and I tried to settle back into some form of normalcy, whatever that looked like.
He explained it to our children like this:
“You know how sometimes you guys want to just go to your rooms and have some time to yourselves? Well, that’s what Mommy and I need…except that we share a room, so I’m going to move out for a while.”
Our son then asked him if we were getting divorced.
My husband looked him right in the eye and said that we were NOT getting divorced, but rather we just needed space.
He continued to take the kids to and from school like he always had and would drop them off to me with the exception of the days he would keep them overnight.
In the beginning this arrangement was only one day per week and every other weekend.
I had wanted to keep things as consistent as possible for the kids as far as a schedule went, plus the thought of my kids not being with me every night made me sick.
This went on for a while until he decided that he wanted more time with the kids.
You’re probably thinking, “Aww, isn’t that nice!”
Yes, if my husband were a mentally-healthy, functioning man, then it would be great.
But he’s not. So I began to freak out.
I was already in the process of going to a therapist to “fix me,” whatever that meant– and to be honest, it was a good place for me to go and try to understand the things my husband was saying and doing.
When I would ask my husband about his own therapy, he would say, “I have a lot of demons I’m trying to work through.”
Did I mention he has an issue with alcohol?
In my mind I was like Great, he’s getting help!
…except I found out that during a three-month span of time, he only went to therapy three times.
For someone with so many “demons,” I thought he should probably be going at least once a week.
Then I come to find out he decided he actually wasn’t broken and didn’t need fixing. So he quit going all together.
It was about this time that he decided he wasn’t coming back home again either.
No more demons, I guess?!
Read the first installment of this series, “On Divorce,” here. Stay tuned for more installments in the coming weeks!