Fridays used to be “Us Weekly Day!”
That wonderful day when my Us Weekly showed up in my mailbox, hot off the press and filled with glossy pictures of my favorite celebs.
I would sit down on the couch and read it cover-to-cover, even if I wasn’t particularly interested in “What’s in My Bag?” featuring Christa B. Allen. I don’t even know who Christa B. Allen is, but I faithfully read the article anyway.
But recently, my Us Weekly has been coming later and later. Fridays are now “Where the Hell is My Us Weekly Days???”
What used to kick off my weekend just stopped coming, with no advance notice. Sometimes it comes on Saturdays, but sometimes I have to wait until (gasp!) Monday or Tuesday!
And what’s worse is I’ve started seeing the new issue out in stores before I have my copy at home. That never used to happen.
Like today, I saw the new one with Brandi and Adrienne on the cover at Target. But was mine waiting for me when I got home? Of course not!
Please try to help me understand, Us Weekly.
Is it because I live in South Jersey now? I mean, I know it’s like a different world down here compared to North Jersey but it’s not that far away!
Is it because I no longer read it cover-to-cover, but instead skim through until I get to articles I like about Bethenny or the Kardashians?
Whatever I’ve done, I’m sorry…I promise I’ll be good. I’ll even read the dumb fashion police pages at the end of the magazine.
What if when I go up to visit my friends in Hoboken today they start talking about the new details of the Brandi/Adrienne scandal and I have no idea what they’re referencing?
I’ll just have to nod my head and act like I’m up on everything. It’s not fair. They’re gonna know.
Just return my subscription to its normal Friday delivery day. I’m begging you!