Guilty Pleasures TV

The Mistress: Bachelor in Paradise Recap

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I’m kind of embarrassed to admit that I’ve been looking forward to Bachelor in Paradise all week. It is the guilty pleasure of my summer.

Here are the Top 10 Highlights from last night’s Bachelor in Paradise.

10. Can we just agree that the best part of Bachelor in Paradise is the theme song? I love the throwback to the ’70s with the cheesy font. My favorite of the cast intros: Lauren I. when the wave washes over her.

9. Speaking of Lauren I., what did she think it was going to be like on the show? Her complaints: I’m sweaty, I’m hot, and I’m around people 24/7. It’s a dating show in Mexico. Are the weather and the people parts that shocking?

8. “Do crabs fly?” –Carly. Well, the ones that hop from J.J.’s bathing suit to the hot tub do.

7. Tenley’s “beach hair” is killing me. It’s just frizz. Girlfriend needs some surf spray. Although it’s not as bad as Juelia’s hair after her date with Joe. I assume everyone was lying when they told her how amazing her hair looked when she got back?

6. As you see the reaction of the group when Lauren I. leaves, the old adage is proven true– Bachelor people only like to hang out with other Bachelor people. It was a mistake to come onto the show and try to mingle with them if you’re not a fellow reality star. 

5. What is the timing of the filming of this show? All the ladies seem to think Joe is awesome, so I’m guessing that his exit from Kaitlyn’s season hadn’t aired yet. Otherwise they would have seen him for the psycho weirdo that he is. And we can now add liar and farter to that list.

4. I’m confused as to what the appeal of Joshua is. He is goofy, has a bad haircut, and his tattoos are heinous. I do like that he inspires such witty comments from J.J., though. So we’ll let him stay for now.

3. Speaking of Joshua…people who do drugs like “Molly” on a regular basis are kind of sketchy in my book, but even worse than those people? The people who brag about doing drugs like Molly on a regular basis. 

2. All of the confusion happening is confusing to me. Juelia was confused as to why Joe picked her for the date. Well, when Joe said, “Who wants to go horseback riding?” Juelia was the only one who said, “I do!” Does that clear it up? Next up is Joe, who is utterly baffled when Dan repeats 37 times that Clare is just not that into him.  

1. And the zing of the night: “Mikey’s wedding vision board is just…ruined.” –Kirk, when Mikey finally gets it that Clare’s just not that into him.

More Bachelor in Paradise tonight! WHO WILL GET ASHLEY I.’S ROSE?! Plus, the return of one of my faves…Michael from Andi’s season!

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