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Three ladies are left but one must be eliminated before Ben tells BOTH the final two ladies that he loves them. #idiot
As Ben describes Jamaica to us, you have to wonder about the level of his naivety.
“Jamaica…the water is blue, the air is fresh, and the people are friendly.” The people are high, Ben. That’s why they’re so damn friendly. They high.
Sidenote: do you think Chris Harrison tokes up late-night with the staff of The Bachelor when they are away on these islands? I mean, I’m sure they get bored, right? Plus, it’s Jamaica. #wheninRome
Anyway, the three remaining ladies are: JoJo, Lauren, and Caila. My apologies to the Caila fans. I may gloss over the parts with her because I don’t like her. It started with her entrance– that awkward run and jump? I’ll pass.
Oh great, we’re starting with Caila.
Ben thinks she is one of the most beautiful women ever. He also claims that their relationship is “the deepest” of all his relationships.
I mean, for two people who have “the deepest” relationship this date is sure “the awkwardest.” Caila is quiet and anxious as they float down the river because she can’t get over the fact that there are two other ladies here.
Ben’s like, Check please!
The evening portion doesn’t go much smoother as they greet each other with “It’s good to see you,” and “Good to see you, too!” Still, Caila manages to blurt out that she’s in love with him, lest Ben be thinking he can ditch her before the Fantasy Suites.
Ben claims that this is what he’s been wanting all along– to hear Caila say she loves him.
This is what Ben’s been wanting? For three ladies to tell him they love him? He has barely been able to handle the journey so far. He has to know that Caila is his least favorite of the three women. Has to.
Judging by how excited Caila is and the fireworks and the bathing suits…I’m gonna go with a solid, YES. THEY BANGED.
“I’m in love!” squeals Caila. “And I feel like he loves me. Ben can’t tell me that he’s in love with me, but Ben didn’t have to say any words. It’s just something I felt.”
Oh dear. This is so sad. Caila tells him like 5x that she loves him and he is silent after every time. Little does she know that he will be telling it to two ladies this week…I guess just not to her!
Luckily for Ben, his date with Lauren is up next and it’s “filled with cuteness.” Lauren is cute. Baby sea turtles are cute. Them not realizing that most of those baby sea turtles will immediately get eaten in the ocean is cute.
(I just made that up. Calm down. Although it’s probably true.)
Ben tells Lauren that he thinks she is too good for him; Lauren tells Ben that she thinks he is too good for her. Seriously, though, you’re both contestants on a reality TV show. I’d say you’re both on the same “not too good for each other” level.
In the evening Lauren struggles with telling Ben she loves him. “I don’t know if I can do it,” she whines to the cameras.
But she finally does! She tells him she loves him and HE TELLS HER IT BACK. Ben, you’re not supposed to say that yet! Chris Harrison is fuming somewhere. Or maybe he’s happy because he knows Ben is going to say it to JoJo, too? #ratings
Ben and Lauren tell each other “I love you” like 5 million more times the next morning. Ben says that if he doesn’t feel like he’s in love with JoJo by the end of their date today, he will have to send her home.
Oh and him and Lauren definitely did the dirty.
Well thank goodness that’s taken care of. Pretty early on in the date JoJo tells Ben she loves him and again, he reciprocates. Sorry ’bout that, Caila. #everyonegetsaniloveyou #butyou
How Ben is not walking around having a panic attack is unclear. Does he think he can keep dating both women at the end? Is he going to become a polygamist? I feel like JoJo and Lauren would be cool with that.
Still, Ben is worried that JoJo’s family didn’t approve of him. JoJo assures him that they will, if she’s his chosen one. She swears!
I’m curious to know if Lauren or JoJo had any idea that Ben would be telling another woman he loved her. If it were me, I would have assumed (wrongly) that he was only saying it to the one he was keeping in the end. Right?
Now that Ben has given both JoJo and Lauren false confidence (oh and he def banged JoJo, too), he realizes he must set Caila free to be that rootless unlovable wackadoo bird that she is. As my friend Megan just texted me, “She acts like she’s 11.” #truth
Too bad Caila has misread every single clue and grimace on Ben’s face. She mistakenly believes that they are soul mates. She goes to surprise him at his Jamaican villa. Well, I guess this will be where he does it, then.
So long, Caila. Please, dear God, don’t be the next Bachelorette. Or I really won’t watch.
Ben tries to let her down gently by telling her he’s in love with two women here and she is not one of them. Ouch.
As he explains away, she says, “That sounds like a line.” She does handle it gracefully, though. She says her goodbyes and gets into the limo. And then she gets out.
She wants answers. She wants to know when he knew that she wasn’t the one. He (in my opinion) lies and tells her he didn’t know until this week, but I’m not buying that.
She sobs in the car to the airport that she feels like her purpose in life is to love other people and she can’t believe she can’t find them. No, Caila. Your purpose in life is to be in a Pantene commercial. That hair!
Well, let’s see. There are two roses and two ladies. I’m sure you can imagine what happens.
(Lauren and JoJo get roses.)
It was kind of funny watching each lady inform Chris Harrison that she told Ben she loved him and he said it back!!!
Next week is The Bachelor: The Women Tell All. Rearr!