How “fine” could things be if Teresa won’t even put Melissa on her approved email list from prison? Seriously.
That’s how the second installment of Teresa Checks In begins. Melissa Gorga picks up all the Guidice girls for a mani/pedi date, while Joe Gorga takes Joe Guidice to work out. Joe Guidice enters the car with a travel mug full of…coffee? Wine? Pasta sauce? None of those would surprise me.
The spa day takes them to Depasquale, a salon in Northern Jersey which I can actually say that I’ve been to. #almostfamous
Things almost get off to a rocky start when Milania practically convinces the salon to give her a latte. (Thankfully, they make it decaf.)
Gabriella attempts to wear headphones the entire time (can’t say I blame her), but Melissa makes her remove them for some good ol’ fashioned quality time. For the cameras. JK. Melissa truly does seem to have her nieces’ best interests in mind, and I don’t think she’s that good of an actress that she’d be faking it.
Back at home, Joe (Giudice) shows off his new ride to his lawyer. If your recall, not only is Joe waiting to be sent for three years in prison BUT he has lost his license for two years. So he got a bike! And a shiny gold helmet!
Joe and his lawyer share a cup of wine. (Why must they always drink out of little juice glasses? Is this an Italian thing? A jailbird thing? A Giudice thing?)
LAWYER: “That’s homemade?”
JOE: “You like it?”
LAWYER: “It’s alright.”
The lawyer shows Joe that Teresa sent him her diary from prison. We learn that Teresa (according to her) has the respect of her fellow prisoners and helps break up fights. #modelprisoner
Perhaps showing off the family’s Gucci dinnerware isn’t the best for the “we’re humble now” image?
The Gorgas and Teresa’s parents come over for an end-of-the-year celebration. Teresa calls while everyone is gathered and BOY does her hatred for Melissa show in the phone call. I can’t decide if Teresa really truly hates Melissa still or if she is just embarrassed and doesn’t want Melissa to see her at her lowest. But that’s what family is there for, right? Melissa says that both her and Joe Gorga applied to visit Teresa but only Joe got approved.
Joe Guidice and his lawyer discuss whether or not Teresa and the girls would move to Italy with him if he gets deported following his prison sentence. Joe thinks they would. Ummm…
Teresa calls before the family is about to leave for the shore. She tells them that a plane was flying very low to the prison trying to get a picture of her outside…which is why Teresa released her own picture of the family to the press yesterday. Not for, like, the money or anything.
Joe and Melissa pick up the Guidice clan and take them to the beach house. They pass Fort Dix and Joe says that’s where he’s going to be “stationed” for his prison sentence.
The families have a nice time down at the shore. Teresa calls again. The kids make a mess with 4th of July decorations. Joe suggests they just leave the mess for the wind to take care of and it will be gone by next weekend.
Back at home after the holiday, it’s another morning and another instance of Milania trying to sneak coffee. She almost gets away with it, but Audriana rats her out. “It’s hot chocolate!” insists Milania. Nope! It’s coffee. This child! I can’t.
Teresa calls and informs Joe that after Teresa had Gia tweet from her account for her, the prison officials thought Teresa tweeted so they strip-searched her looking for a contraband cell phone.
I could watch a show simply of Joe riding his bike places. Today he is riding to the train station so he can meet with a guy who has been to prison before. Guess where he meets with the guy? At Rino Aprea’s restaurant in the city!
During Joe’s meeting with this guy who did time for gambling stuff, Joe still shows no remorse for his actions. He says that despite “worked hard” but is still going to jail.
Prison Dude also tells Joe that depending on how he carries himself and who he knows on the inside, he hopefully won’t get “hit on,” if I’m going to put it mildly.
As the show closes, there is text on the screen telling us that two months after filming, the Guidice’s shore house was repossessed by the bank. No surprise there.
Next week: Teresa is still in jail. Joe Gorga gets his chance to visit her. Melissa does not.