Even if it’s not your New Year’s resolution to stop yelling at your kids for all of 2015, it’s still helpful to have some tools in your arsenal for when you do lose your cool.
Unfortunately for me, I was yelling every single day. Hence why 2015 will hopefully (if I stick to this!) be “A Year of No Yelling” for me.
Now, if you read my post from last week, “The Day I Put a Hole in the Wall,” you will know that I’m the last person who should be giving expert advice about topics such as ANGER MANAGEMENT or NOT YELLING.
And I’m not— this is not any advice from me. It’s just the plan that I have set up to try to stop yelling, and it’s a plan based on research and expert advice. I have no idea if it will work or not, but I am very hopeful.
Think of it as a starting point…that’s why I called this post “How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids (When You Don’t Know Where to Start).”
Here’s the basic plan I intend to follow in order to stop yelling…
- Commit to it. Tell your spouse, your kids, and your friends. They will hold you accountable when you seem like you’re about to yell.
- Read up. There are two books that I am using for inspiration, technique, and guidance. The first one is by a licensed professional. I like to hear the science behind why I’m yelling and why my kid is being so whiny and annoying. The second one is by a yelling mom, so she’s speaking my language. Both serve a purpose for me.
- Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Markham. I read this last year and learned a lot, but I didn’t apply what I learned. This time around, I’m taking notes and incorporating her tips into my daily life. I plan to read this book for 20 minutes every morning when I wake up. I started re-reading it yesterday and immediately remembered why I loved it. Look at this wisdom from the opening pages: “Human beings weren’t designed to handle the amount of stress our modern life loads on us, which makes it difficult to hear our natural parenting instincts. It’s almost as if we’re forced to parent in our spare time, after meeting the demands of work, commuting and household responsibilities.” I love the acknowledgement that there are higher demands placed on parents today. It’s not enough to be a “good enough” parent; we are expected to be perfect.
- Yell Less, Love More: How the Orange Rhino Mom Stopped Yelling at Her Kids– And How You Can Too! I discovered this book after deciding to stop yelling. Apparently, like everything else, it’s been done before. Sheila McCraith chronicled her journey to stop yelling for 365 days with a book and a website. I like the book because the beginning is broken up into Days 1-30, so you can just read a day at a time, get a manageable task accomplished, and feel encouraged to stop yelling. There’s also an Orange
- Make reminders. McCraith hangs up pictures of an orange rhino (her challenge’s mascot) in her house. She also puts up pictures of her kids as newborns…to remind herself that they weren’t always annoying and a source of frustration.
- Ask for help. Is dinnertime your trigger…like it is mine? Figure out if it’s worth it to hire a mother’s helper for that hour. Or prepare some freezer meals on the weekend so all you have to do is pop them in the crockpot. Are you stressed because you’re not getting enough sleep? See if a family member or friend can take your kids for a few hours on the weekend so you can nap. It takes a village!
Today will be my Day 1. NO MORE YELLING!
Oops. I mean No more yelling!