The Sobriety Diaries {Day 15}

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My children drive me to drink.

If nothing else comes out of this alcohol detox, I at least now know why I drink.

It is my children.

My children drive me to drink.

Because it is at the SAME TIME every single day that I start to absolutely lose my mind. And it is at this time that I would like to reach for a bottle, pour it into a glass, and take a huge gulp.

Or maybe just get a straw and put it right into the freaking bottle.

Today was no different.

I mean, the circumstances of the day were different, but the end result is always the same… 

I want to hide from my kids during the hours of 4:00 to 7:00 P.M.

We lost power AGAIN in the morning from about 6:45 A.M. to 9:45ish. So that was annoying.

It rained all day, so I guess the kids were cranky from not being able to run around outside? 

I don’t know. That’s what my husband used to explain away their bad behavior when I texted him that I can’t deal with the dinnertime hours alone anymore.

I used to be fine with it, so I don’t know what’s going on. Are my kids getting worse?

I thought they were supposed to get better as they got older. 

It’s mainly my two-year-old who is a terror, but the other two do their fair share of whining and complaining and misbehaving.

I swear, it’s only when I yell loudly at them that they turn into perfect angels. The older two, anyway. The little one is unfazed by yelling, time-outs, or punishments of any sort.

He will look right at me and laugh as I try to discipline him. It’s infuriating. 

I bathed them early because dinner was going to be a little late, and my little one ran around the house while I tried to catch him to put his pajamas on.

Once I finally caught him, it is a physical challenge to get the pajamas actually on him.

He is laughing and flailing and kicking at me. I am assuming he thinks it’s all a big game and a barrel of laughs.

My husband has told me he was stopping at a brewery on his way home from work. Which should have been fine.

should be able to make it through dinner and bath without help. I do, most of the time.

But these kids are NUTS lately. 

I mean, as I write this one day later, my two-year-old is standing on the piano keys, playing a “song” with his feet. 

“Look Mommy, I up here!” he is saying to me.

I know it’s typical behavior for his age but it is SO frustrating when I have two other kids to deal with.

I am starting to hate being home with them everyday. Two mornings a week at preschool is just not enough!

I’m sure I sound like a spoiled brat. But I’m starting to wish I worked everyday. 

Or maybe I am just having a hard time dealing with everyday stresses without my daily glass of wine. 

On another note, I’ve started thinking about my first glass of wine once this detox is over.


Should I go for red? Or rosé? Chardonnay? 

The possibilities are endless…

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