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I used to hate finding wine glasses in my room when I woke up.
I used to hate waking up and seeing an empty wine glass from the night before in my bedroom.
It was like a visceral reminder that Ugh, I was drinking late at night and now I probably have a hangover.
Yep, the wine glass on the nightstand was never a good sign.
This morning, I again woke up to a wine glass on my nightstand. It wasn’t empty, though– there was still an inch left of flat seltzer from last night.
Seems like even when I’m sober, I can still be lazy and not bring my glass down to the dishwasher before going to bed.
So even though one would think that life without alcohol would be lovely and rosy and perfect, it’s still just regular old life.
Sure I’m not walking around all morning with a headache and slight nausea on a day after having one too many…but the trials and tribulations of the day-to-day still exist.
My kids still don’t listen.
My husband still annoys me.
I still eat Oreos and chips when I’m stressed out.
The house is still cluttered and messy.
I think when I started this alcohol detox, I imagined it as the solution to all my problems. Sobriety = miracle worker? That’s what I thought, at least.
But here we are.
Sober and living the same imperfect life.
I am reading in my book (Almost Alcoholic) that people with anxiety or depression will often drink to self-medicate those conditions…yet alcohol will actually make both anxiety AND depression worse.
Along the same lines, people with trouble sleeping may use alcohol to help them sleep better, but it actually causes problems for your sleeping.
I have been sleeping a lot better than I usually do since I’ve been on this detox, so I am scared of what will happen when I start drinking wine again.
Will even having one glass in the early evening cause my sleep to be poor?
This is already terrifying me, because I HATE insomnia.
It’s such a mental thing for me– it’s like I know I’m having a hard time falling asleep so that causes me anxiety and keeps me awake.
The more I am aware of it, the more I think about it. It’s a vicious cycle.
I guess I will have to figure out whether enjoying some wine or my sleep is more important to me. Right now I would say sleep.
Hopefully there is a happy medium.
We had another party today that I successfully navigated without drinking.
It was a three-year-old birthday party, but there were food and beverages for the adults too, so a handful of people were drinking there.
If I wasn’t doing my “no alcohol for thirty days,” I definitely would’ve been among the drinkers.
Again, I still had a great time and not drinking didn’t bother me.
I’m feeling less awkward each time I go out and don’t drink.
I definitely still have to be holding onto a beverage of some sort, which I guess is weird. Yesterday it was a water bottle.
We came home from the party in the afternoon and it was nice to be clear-headed and sober for the rest of the day.
And it was a good thing, too, because my husband developed a sudden case of the man flu and was down for the count.
Yes, that’s right. It’s man flu season.
All of a sudden, he had a fever.
I asked him, “What hurts?”
“Everything,” he said.
So that was fun! Here’s hoping that this is a 24-hour illness, although history tells us that man flus are often very severe in both symptoms and duration.
For tips on dealing with man flu, read 7 Things to Remember When Dealing with The Man Flu.