Parenting Problems/Tips

Say Please! (A Rant)

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I will preface this post by saying that I have a headache, I’m tired, and I’m cranky.

I just opened a brand-new bag of special Valentine’s Peanut M&Ms and ate almost half of it. This is the third bag of “potty treats” I’ve bought for my two-year-old and eaten myself. (In my defense- she is refusing to go on the potty anyway, so it’s not like we need them…and I don’t want them to spoil.)

Anyway, we got my daughter’s Two-Year-Old Progress Report from her school today. It didn’t really tell me anything I didn’t know already, except that apparently she doesn’t know her own first name or what a triangle is. (I assure you, she does.)

The report also said that she is a pleasure to have in class. This also didn’t surprise me, because other than her toddler tantrums, my child is generally well-behaved.

Lately, I have been getting annoyed when people (family or friends, but usually my family) insist on my daughter saying “please” before everything.

At home, she says “please,” “thank you,” and “you’re welcome” about 80% of the time, and always unprompted. When we are out at a family function, my daughter tends to clam up. So maybe she won’t say “Please can I have a cookie?” Instead, she will just nod her head yes. 

Then someone will say to her: “Say please!” This will be met with silence.

“Say please!” More silence.

“You have to say please if you want the cookie.” Still more silence.

Then I intervene: “Oh would you just give her the cookie for Christ’s sake? She’s two.”

Obviously I want my daughter to have proper manners, but should she be expected to say please every single time she receives something…as a two-year-old??

I feel like she is badgered to say “please” in situations where even adults don’t usually say it. If you bring someone a gift, do you require them to say please before handing it to them? I hope not.

Any time my sister gives my daughter anything, I hear “Say please!” over and over and over and over. 

That’s it. That’s my rant. It’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, it’s just something that has been bugging me. 

And while I’m already complaining, here’s one more to add: what is with Ben & Jerry’s having special “Limited Edition” flavors? Why can they only produce “Magic Brownies,” (the greatest flavor to ever grace this earth) for a limited time? Is there a shortage of black raspberry ice-cream or fudgey brownie pieces? 

It’s been two years now since I’ve seen a pint of Magic Brownies in the store. But I still check every time I go!

magic brownies

So…let me have it! Should I be forcing my daughter to say please constantly? Or are my family members too demanding of a toddler? 

And does anyone else feel my pain about Magic Brownies?

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  • Susan
    February 6, 2014 at 10:26 PM

    I agree… don’t be so hard with the pleases and thank yous… she’s only 2 and I’m sure she clams up. Glad you recognize it and you should say something!

  • Tamara
    February 7, 2014 at 9:38 AM

    My kids are the act same way. They are extremely shy around others even my own family, so they usually don’t talk much. I finally just lost it and told my siblings to stop trying to force my kids to say something. They will talk to them when they are ready! And I was right!! Without them constantly badgering them to talk or answer them my kids eventually got comfortable to talk them. And now they don’t shut up when they see my family. It’s nice to remind a child to be polite but no need to say it over and over to them. I also had a friend who tried to teach her daughter to say “excuse me” when adults were talking and she needed/wanted something. While good in theory it just turned into her daughter saying excuse me 4 millions times and then continue to talk over the adults conversation instead of waiting for her mom to acknowledge her first. Cute and funny but also slightly annoying lol. And her poor mom was exasperated by constantly trying to get her to understand to say excuse me once and wait quietly. You have a small toddler not an entitled and spoiled child. Don’t feel bad and remind your sister that your baby is not a performing monkey 😉

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