Guilty Pleasures TV

Pretty Little Lies: Vanderpump Rules Recap

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Vanderpump Rules - Season 4

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Lisa takes Katie, Scheana, and Kristina (remember Stassi’s BFF from last season?) shopping for new SUR uniforms. They seem to be at some cheap sundress store where, of course, Scheana finds oodles of dresses she loves.

The SURvers are reprimanded for being mean to new girl Lala. Lisa Vanderpump sees everything, ladies!

Katie whines that she just doesn’t have anything in common with Lala. Wah! Scheana tattles that Lala is in Italy for pleasure, not business. Wah!

Lisa’s reaction: “Yeah, and?”

Next up on “Entitled Restaurant Workers Being Rude to Their Boss,” Lisa brings in Pump bar manager Eric (a perfectly nice young man) to teach Jax, Ariana, and Tom Sandoval how to make a few of Pump’s signature cocktails.

This is, like, too much for the SUR bartenders, who feel that they alone are responsible for SUR’s success. Jax is blatantly rude and obnoxious until Ken gets in his face and tells him that if he doesn’t like working for him and his wife, there’s the door. Seriously. 

Back at SUR on a work night, Lisa inquires as to how Lala’s modeling job was. Who was the photographer? Where was the location? Lala knows she’s been caught in a lie but actually, her lie that she told didn’t even happen. Poor little Lala had a breakdown and had to go home to her Mom for the weekend. 

Also having a bit of a breakdown is Scheana. She starts crying to Katie because Shay didn’t come home last night. He was drinking too much and acting depressed and he went to stay with his parents. More on this later.

It’s time for more training of the SURvers, this time by Pump head waiter Richardson! Something about those pink shirts and black ties makes all the Pump guys look hot.

After all of this extensive staff training I think I’ll need to take a trip to L.A. to test whether or not the SURvers are up to speed. (Lisa, call me. I’ll go undercover.)

Tom Schwarz has scored a few modeling gigs in a row which should help him pay for Katie’s engagement ring. He is ready. I’m sure Katie will love to watch him taking love advice from the random hot chick he was modeling with.

Now, onto the dysfunctional relationships of the show…

To sum up the James/Kristen situation, here’s a line from James’ confessional: “I feel bad about lying to Kristen, but at the same time, I had, like, good sex with Jenna. I don’t regret what happened with her, but I love Kristen, don’t get me wrong.” 


James is annoyed that Kristen had lunch with Jax. Jax spent the lunch telling Kristen to dump James. 

  1. Why does Jax care about Kristen’s well-being?
  2. Why does Jax care about Kristen’s well-being?!

Kristen says James’ blaming her for stuff is a “classic cheater move.” Of course, this is said in her confessional. In the moment, she is still 100% into her relationship with James. 

Lisa tells Katie and Scheana (again) to be nice to Lala because she’s going through some stuff. “I’m going through stuff too and I guarantee you it’s bigger than that,” cries Scheana. Lisa appears not to care.

Tom Sandoval gives his dirty old couches to fellow SURver Faith. Ew. Has she not watched this show? 

Lala arrives at SUR and finds Jax eating his lunch in the back alley. He asks her how it’s going with the ladies at SUR.

“You can be honest with me, I don’t gossip,” says Jax. 

They flirt. Jax reconsiders his relationship status with Brittany momentarily. Lala wonders if she’s bored enough to find out what it means to “get Jaxed.”

Scheana is understandably moping around her apartment, which looks exactly as you would picture it to look. Girly decorations and massive pictures of herself and Shay on the walls. (And some more of herself.)

Ariana comes over to comfort Scheana, who is at a loss for what to do regarding Shay. Was she not a good wife? Did she mother him too much? Is she enabling him? Did she miss signs that he was unhappy? 

In her confessional, Scheana says that there’s a lot more to this story that we don’t know. Hmmm…

Tom Schwarz brings other Tom and Scheana with him to pick out Katie’s engagement ring. His budget is around $5,000. The jeweler laughs at him and asks if he can double that. Awww. 

The ring he picks out is $7,000. “Can you, like, sell some of your stuff?” asks the jeweler.

Scheana tells the guys about Shay’s issues. Everyone is concerned.

Back at SUR, Jax is busy pulling the cork out of a wine bottle with his teeth. For a patron’s drink order. Are you serious? I mean, I’m no expert on restaurant health regulations but that has to be a major no-no.

Jax and Tom Sandoval discuss Shay. Tom wonders if maybe he should, like, call Shay and see how he is doing? Really, Tom? That is just occurring to you NOW??? Call him. Go see him.

James flirts with Lala. They are totally gonna bang. Lala admits in her confessional that he’s not really her type but that accent. I get it, Lala. I get it.

Scheana finally tells Lisa what’s going on with Shay. He started drinking a lot a lot around Christmas and then he started adding Vicodins to the mix– like five a day. Eek. 

“So he’s a drug addict,” Lisa tells Scheana. “Is he the man you thought he was? Clearly, he’s not.”

“I just don’t know if we can get through this,” says Scheana.

Why isn’t anyone suggesting a doctor/rehab/something along those lines? 

And one final note: that scene with Lisa literally cradling her sick swan? That totally freaked me out. Birds. Ick!

Next week, James and Kristen head to therapy and Shay heads home for a confrontation with Scheana. And all her friends. Yikes!

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