Perfectly Imperfect

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My theme for the year…perfectly imperfect.

I usually love a fresh start, especially one that comes with an entirely new year.

But truth be told, I’ve felt a little down in the dumps ever since we rang in 2018. 

Maybe it’s because my Zoloft is numbing my emotions and I’m not experiencing the highs of happiness and motivation that I would normally feel.

Or maybe it’s because I feel like there is just so much still I want to work on about myself and it’s frustrating.

I’m still waiting for that “perfect year” when everything goes right.

It’s certainly not now…after being home for two weeks, my kids are practically addicted to phones, video games, and TV, I have a large dermoid cyst on my ovary that probably requires surgical removal, and it seems like my household is constantly getting sick.

The latest– my six-year-old is on antibiotics yet again for bacterial sinusitis and probably needs her adenoids and tonsils removed.

There are fixes for all those problems, I do realize that.

It just feels like I’m always wading through the crap and trying to survive.

And I wish I could have one easy resolution for this year, like “Put down my phone.”

But no, I have at least a dozen resolutions that I feel the need to work on.

Spend less time on Facebook.

Spend more time on my hobbies, like knitting, playing the piano, and reading.

Learn calligraphy.

Drink less alcohol. (Way less.)

Train for a half marathon.

Stop allowing my kids excessive amounts of screen time.

Launch my small business and contribute to my family’s income.

Write another book.

I swear, I could add about ten more things to this list.

But my main wish is that I could eliminate my desire to be perfect at everything. 

I keep seeing people post on Facebook about their “word of the year” or “theme for 2018.”

When I considered this idea for myself, the first word that popped into my mind was “imperfect.”

Then, because I didn’t like the negative connotation of that word, I immediately changed it to “perfectly imperfect.”

(Of course.)

I want to lower the standards I have set for myself and focus on what makes me happy.

For this to work for me, I need to be organized and actually lay out my weekly and daily goals…reminding myself which activities are worth my time (playing with my kids instead of putting them in front of the TV, my hobbies, exercising) and weeding out the ones that are not worth my time (scrolling through Facebook and Instagram, drinking too much wine, and worrying).

And when I mess up, I’m not going to be too hard on myself. 

When you remind yourself that no matter how hard you try you’re never actually going to be perfect, it’s easier to swallow.

I will accept the imperfections my life has to offer.

So that is going to be my mantra for 2018.

Perfectly imperfect.

What’s so great about that phrase is it automatically implies that you’re not going to get it right all the time, by virtue of the word “imperfect.”

So I’m already ahead of the game, because there’s no way to fail at being NOT PERFECT, right?

I hope we can all give ourselves a little grace this year and make 2018 a wonderful journey.


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