Me, Myself, & I Parenting Relationships

Parenting Goals: My Happiness Project, August

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 Parenting. It’s a 24/7 job that comes with no manual. No instruction book for “What to do when they won’t eat fruit. Or vegetables.”

You kind of just have to wing it. And if you’re like me, half the time you think that you’re failing. So while we all know that being a parent is ultimately rewarding and filled with many moments of joy, this month I want to address the many more moments of parenting frustration that I go through. 

Basically, I want to pay more attention to my parenting, possibly learn some new skills, and feel happier about the time spent with my children.

My goals for the month are:

1. Stop yelling. My husband tells me to stop yelling at least once a day. My response is always, “This is not yelling. This is raising my voice. But I can show you yelling!” Whether or not it’s actual yelling, it’s still not right. It makes my daughter cry and it’s ineffective. (Even when I yell, she won’t eat those damn carrots!) Also, now my daughter has begun shouting at us when she is frustrated…I’m sure it has nothing to do with me, though. I don’t know any tricks or tips to stop this bad habit of me yelling, other than just being more aware. Maybe I’ll make a sign for my fridge??

2. Read up. I have read how-to books about dieting, marriage, and sleep training. I think it’s time to find out what the experts say about raising good little kiddies. There are certain issues I’m confused about. For example, I know you’re supposed to encourage girls to play with trains and dinosaurs (not just dolls and tea sets). I get the whole gender stereotype thing. But what about if my two-year-old wants to dress up in heels and put on makeup? Is that a no-no? I have been doing some Googling on good parenting books and will be posting about my finds tomorrow. Then I will (hopefully!) read a book or two this month. And THEN I will have ALL the answers!

3. Model behavior. When your kids are babies, you can get away with murder. You can watch Dexter with a newborn in the room, and you can eat McDonald’s without a kid clamoring for soda and fries, too. Then they start walking and talking. And watching you, ALWAYS watching you. So you’re forced to act like a model citizen who LOVES to eat fruits and veggies, drinks tons of water, doesn’t bite her nails, and never burps loudly and obnoxiously (who me?!?). I need to do a better job of acting how I want my kids to act. I want to be kind to my dog, so my kids are kind to the dog. I want to be calm in the face of minor crises. I want to play games and read books instead of watching TV. Because those little eyes are watching me, and I want to make sure I’m being a good example.

4. Plan one fun activity each day. It’s very easy to get stuck in a rut when you are home with the kids every day. It’s also easy to let said children watch TV and snack on Super Why cereal all day while you mess around with your blog and hang out on Facebook. (I’m certainly not saying that I am such a person who does this, but I’ve heard that people do that.) To combat this, I want to have a goal of doing one special activity each day. It doesn’t have to be grand. Just something fun that my daughter will enjoy. Like cook something together. Or paint a picture. BabyCenter has weekly activities to do for each age during your baby’s first two years. After that, there’s plenty of inspiration for activities on Pinterest, like this board of Toddler Activities.

What parenting skill do you want to improve on? Anyone have any tips for quitting my urge to yell all the time? 

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  • Trish
    August 7, 2013 at 7:44 AM

    I whisper. It frightens them more.

    • The Naughty Mommy
      August 7, 2013 at 11:18 AM

      I bet you’re a scary whisperer, Trish!

    • Sarah Hughes
      August 7, 2013 at 9:59 PM

      I am going to try the whisper. As for the girly stuff, if that is what she wants then leave her alone!!! Who cares what “others” say!!! Do what makes YOUR child happy! I have an “all boy” boy and a “girly girl” girl and I let them both live it all up to whatever they desire. So listen to me, I am a blogger so I know it all 😉

      • The Naughty Mommy
        August 8, 2013 at 1:45 PM

        Thanks, Sarah! Right now Lilly is into a pretty good mix of “boy” and “girl” toys.

  • Gwen
    August 7, 2013 at 9:35 AM

    Whispering does get their attention…. more so than yelling

  • Denise @ Couponing 4 a Difference
    August 7, 2013 at 11:10 AM

    Hi Lindsay! First I must say I think it’s awesome that you want to improve yourself as a parent. I aspire to do the same but fail often. Thanks for the inspiration! As for the yelling issue when I get the urge to yell at my son I think about how I will feel afterwards which is HORRIBLE and REMORSEFUL. I feel over-the-top guilty for some reason so if I feel the need to yell I walk away. And then if I am really angry I may just yell in my head if you know what I mean. I am not always successful at this but I try. Good luck!

    • The Naughty Mommy
      August 7, 2013 at 11:20 AM

      Thanks, Denise, that’s a great tip. I have succeeded in not yelling at humans the past two days, but I did yell at the dog this morning. Baby steps!

  • self aware mom
    February 28, 2014 at 11:53 AM

    How can you plan fun activities with a teenage son who doesnt want to DO anything but yet is “bored”?!

    • The Naughty Mommy
      February 28, 2014 at 1:50 PM

      Oy. That’s a tough one. Go for a run together? Cook together?

    • Dani
      June 12, 2014 at 12:24 AM

      stomach, simply for the fact that he has four of them and you don’t. Anyway, I tuhhgot I would give a shout out to the cow man. He has a field that cows are grazing on today where you can learn the truth about bloggers. Yesterday, it was all aboutcows doing their duty and business(yuck!). While the cow man was gone, many bloggers took full advantage of the site and planned and plotted with schemes such as how to milk your cash cow and you say cow and chow and I say choo. Anyway if you have never herd of John COW you should