I haven’t been doing so great with my New Year’s resolution to stop yelling.
I haven’t thrown anything else at the wall, but that’s about as much praise as I can give myself.
Lots of yelling still going on, so on Monday I forced myself to start over. AGAIN.
I went back to the beginning of both the books I’m reading (Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Markham and Yell Less, Love More: How the Orange Rhino Mom Stopped Yelling at Her Kids– And How You Can Too! by Sheila McCrath) and tried again.
I finally started actually doing the tasks in the Orange Rhino book. The first one was to put pictures of your kids as newborns up in your high-stress areas.
I put up a bunch of baby pictures in my kitchen (because the dinnertime hour is my biggest trigger) and then some more by the front door (because I yell when we are trying to rush out of the house).
I have also started using the Orange Rhino app (it’s free!) on my phone. I set my goal at going ONE DAY without yelling and then I can set it to remind me or send me inspirational quotes throughout the day.
I’m jotting down notes from Peaceful Parenting as I go and pinning up Post-Its to remind me of helpful tips. It’s kind of embarrassing if anyone comes over to my house and sees the reminders like “DON’T YELL!” and “CHOOSE LOVE!” plastered all over, but oh well!
Also, I’m really trying hard to put my computer and phone down and pay more attention to my kids. I’ve noticed that I yell a lot when I’m trying to do too much…and let’s face it, my top priority should be playing with the kids during the daytime hours.
Another helpful tool in my journey to no yelling fell into my lap yesterday. A friend had recommended a parenting webinar to me several days ago.
I left the webpage sitting open in my browser this whole time and then happened to look at it yesterday to see that there was an hour-long webinar scheduled for that day. At 1:00. Naptime in my house. It was as if all the stars were aligning for me to check it out.
So I did, and surprisingly, I really got a lot out of it. (I have no affiliation with this webinar and I don’t gain anything from anyone clicking on any of these links, by the way.)
The focus of the hour was “Get Kids to Listen Without Reminding, Nagging, or Yelling.” I loved the woman (Amy McCready) presenting it and she taught me several key things in only a short amount of time.
My main take-away was that children have an innate need for power and attention. They need that from their parents every single day. If you don’t give it to them in a positive way, they will find a negative way to get it. This theory totally made sense to me.
There was also a very helpful lesson on consequences and how to effectively use them as a parenting tool.
I learned several other things, but seriously– check it out for yourselves if you can! Here’s a link to upcoming free parenting webinars.
Now, I will tell you that the last few minutes of the webinar are spent trying to sell you on the complete (and pricey) online training course offered by Amy.
Maybe that’s something you will consider doing, but even if it’s not, the free webinar taught me a lot. I didn’t mind the pitch at the end and honestly, if I’m still having trouble with my kids listening in a few months then I would definitely think about the course.
The more that I read my books and do the steps, plus see the visual reminders everywhere, the better I do. Maybe today will be the day that I can make it through one full day without yelling. (Yelling at my dog doesn’t count. For now. Baby steps.)
What has worked for you in this arena?