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Snap judgments might cause you to miss out on a great book or a new friend!
Never judge a book by its cover.
That’s always been a hard one for me, because I like pretty books.
I recently sent a book (The Post-Birthday World by Lionel Shriver) to a friend for her birthday. When she thanked me and asked why I had sent her that particular book, I told her it was one of my favorite novels. (But also, it’s a really pretty book!)
Even if I didn’t love The Post-Birthday World, I’d probably keep this one for display on a bookshelf. But it’s a great book, I swear!
If the cover of a book doesn’t catch my eye in a bookstore, I’m probably not going to end up with it. I guess I’m just a visual person.
Other things I’m guilty of superficially judging: people, wines, and shoes.
Wines– I like bottles that are pretty or cool or funny. Screw what kind it is or if it’s high-quality…until I’m drinking it, of course, and getting a headache because it was a “cool” bottle housing some shitty wine.
Shoes– they are meant to cushion your feet and get you from Point A to Point B. Unfortunately, I like the looks of really high, uncomfortable heels. Ones I can’t even walk in. But hey, at least they look good, right?
And then there’s people.
I’ve never had a difficult time making friends. I have a group of 15-ish ladies in my life that I would refer to as “dear friends,” who would be there for me if I ever needed them and vice versa.
Yet at a certain point in your life, you meet a new person and you’re like Eh…don’t I have enough friends? Do I really need to invest the time to meet ANOTHER person?
So I make a snap judgment. Is this person going to be a member of my inner circle? My squad?
I guess this is not to say that I am judging them by their “covers,” a.k.a. appearances, but I judge people quickly and definitively and if they don’t seem to fit into the mold of Best Friend Material, I move on.
But I learned last weekend that yes, you do still need to put in the time to get to know a person. If you don’t, you may miss out on a really cool individual!
This past Saturday, my husband and I attended the wedding of one of his best friends from childhood. I had met his bride-to-be only a handful of times before, but I had never taken the time to do more than say hello.
I don’t even know why. There was no real reason. Just laziness on my part.
We got to the wedding and were waiting for the ceremony to start. It was at a gorgeous venue in Brooklyn and everything looked perfect.
Then someone came up to give a speech or do a reading (I’m not quite sure which– I was a bit tipsy), and Bravo was mentioned. Turns out the bride is a huge fan of Real Housewives and all my favorite Bravo shows.
To me, that translates to, “Hello, you are my new best friend!”
How could I not have known this?!
I always feel like I can sniff out a fellow Bravo-lover like I can sniff out a fellow wino…you know, like how you know if it will be the type of neighbor who offers you a glass of wine within five minutes of a play date?
So how did I miss this one?
I suppose my Real Housewives superfan radar was not working. Or maybe I’m just a closed-minded b*tch who needs to learn how to expand her social circle.
Either way, anyone who has wedding speeches peppered with Lisa Vanderpump-isms is a friend of mine.
So to Alexis, who I hope will be my new friend…Cheers!
Or as Andy Cohen would say, MAZEL!