Parenting Relationships

Must Love Wine

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In case you missed it, my eBook Must Love Wine hit the virtual shelves last month and it’s destined to be a classic! Not to mention, it’s Real Housewife-approved. (See book cover above with praise from RHONY‘s own Kristen Taekman.)

If you haven’t purchased it, here’s why you need to– it’s a collection of essays about my life. Not just mom stuff, but relationship stuff, too. FUNNY mom and relationship stuff that will have you laughing so hard you spit out your wine.

Did I mention that Must Love Wine is only $3.99? That is a steal, my friends! So head over to Amazon right now and do a little clicky-clicky on “Buy Now.” (Don’t worry if you don’t have a Kindle. You can easily download the free Kindle app on your smartphone or tablet and read it there!)

Still not sure you want to fork over the mere cost of a latte to support me AND burn some calories giggling? Here’s a sample chapter that I’m sharing FOR FREE so you can preview a tiny bit of what Must Love Wine has to offer…

Chapter 6.

Adventures in Babysitting

I have met more than a few moms who have told me that they don’t feel comfortable leaving their kids with a teenage babysitter. I, on the other hand, have been leaving my kids with sitters since they were babies.

I think it’s because I used to babysit when I was younger. Heck I was watching babies at age 12 with my friend Liz.

We were kind of obsessed with babies back then. We would beg people to let us babysit their kids. Beg. Being paid was just icing on the cake. What we really wanted was to hold the babies.

Still, since we were only 12, parents would hire us as a duo and we’d split the pay.

I remember one time when we showed up to babysit a nine-month-old little girl. The parents greeted us and told us that the baby was already asleep for the night. We were crushed.

So, we did what any reasonable 12-year-old would do. We woke the baby up so we could hold her.

Now it’s not like we kept her up late playing with toys and stuff. We really just walked around her room and rocked her for a few minutes so we could get our baby fix. Then we settled in to watch ABC’s TGIF lineup and eat junk food.

By 18 years old I was doing overnight babysitting gigs, sometimes staying for a few days watching multiple children. I seriously can’t figure out how I managed those jobs so well when now it’s hard for me to deal with my own three kids.

I guess the promise of being paid for my time plus the fact that I got to leave eventually were great motivating factors. Especially when dealing with babysitting clients who were not always the greatest.

There was the family who had a porno in their bedroom VHS player. I know what you’re thinking– I shouldn’t have been in their bedroom. But that’s where they told me to watch TV after the kids went to bed. So, you see, it wasn’t my fault. Do you think my virgin pre-teen eyes wanted to see that? No. They did not.

Or how about the couple who had naughty pictures from their honeymoon in a family photo album?

Were these pictures out in plain view? No, but I mean, when you have two teenage girls babysitting I think you can assume some light snooping is going to take place. Or at least it did back in the day when we didn’t have Facebook or our iPhones to entertain us. Our options were limited to watching what was on the TV live or reading a book. It was practically the Dark Ages.

Another family I babysit for on occasion had a habit of stumbling home drunk at the end of the night, overpaying me (or forgetting that they paid me at all), and then calling me the next morning to recoup their overpayment. I wish I had had the balls to say something fresh like, “Not my problem” when I got those phone calls, but I usually just returned the extra $10 or whatever it was. I can only imagine it was embarrassing enough for them to call and ask for it back.

And of course, I recently did the same thing. I wasn’t stumbling drunk, just a good Sunday Funday day drunk after a fancy brunch out with my husband. We rarely go out to restaurants (much to my chagrin), so when we do I like to make it count. I had a peach Bellini and a Bloody Mary at the first restaurant and then we stopped at a second restaurant for “one more drink” which turned into three.

On our way home, I calculated in my head that we owed the babysitter $45 since we had been gone for three hours. I paid her $45 and she headed out to her car. As she was walking away, I did another drunk calculation and deduced that I hadn’t paid her right. $15 per hour for three hours was $60, not $45!! I shoved a twenty into my husband’s hand and made him run after her and apologize for shorting her.

As I was sobering up later, I realized my mistake. I texted the babysitter, “Oops I think I overpaid you. Don’t worry about it, though. Just keep it as a tip.”

Like why did I even bother texting her? I guess just to let her know that I knew that I paid her too much? But mostly so she didn’t expect to be paid $20 per hour as a general rule. I think that’s why I said it.

Honestly, if you want to treat your babysitter well, there are only two things you need to do…pay her well and leave good food. And if you don’t leave good food, at least leave some money to order dinner.

Also, you shouldn’t have unreasonable expectations. The first ever family I babysat for used to say the same thing to me each time before they went out: “Alive. Just make sure they’re alive when we get home. That’s all we ask.”

I can do that!

I used to hate when a parent would tell me “No TV!” for the kids. Great, I would think. What the hell am I going to do with them all afternoon then?

But now that I’m a mom, I get it. If I wanted the kids to watch TV all day, I could do that myself. I don’t need to pay you to do it! If you’re here babysitting, play with the damn kids!

So I don’t have to!

Want more Must Love Wine? Go get it and tell all your friends!

Hey, you! Stick around. My spidey senses tell me you might be interested in one of the following posts…

 Unique Baby Gifts Sucky Pregnancy

sciatica pregnancy confusing preg

 melissagorgaexperiment 10-Top-Perks-of-Being-Pregnant

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