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The Melissa Gorga Experiment

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Photo courtesy of NBCUniversal.

When Melissa Gorga’s book Love Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage came out last week, some people were disgusted. There were claims that the book promoted “marital rape” and being a submissive pushover to a tyrannical husband. (Here is Melissa’s response to the haters.)

I went to one of Melissa’s book signings, purchased the book, and met the Gorgas. I found both her and Joe to be perfectly nice, gracious individuals.

After reading the book myself, I found the claims made by the haters to be wildly inaccurate. It appears to me that Melissa and Joe Gorga have a healthy, loving, happy marriage. Joe is Melissa’s biggest fan, and vice versa.

So what if Melissa advises to never poop in front of your hubby- is that such terrible advice? I’d certainly like my husband to not poop in front of me, so why shouldn’t I do the same?

Anyway, the book got me thinking that maybe Melissa Gorga really does have the secrets to a hot and happy marriage. So I’ve decided to follow all her advice in Love Italian Style for one month and see what happens. Basically, I’m going to Gorganize my marriage.

Will my husband pass out from shock at being treated like “the king of the house?” Will I pass out from exhaustion between all the cooking, cleaning, and sexing that Melissa suggests?

I don’t know, but I can guarantee you’re going to want to come along for the ride. I’ll be posting regular updates on how The Melissa Gorga Experiment is going, in both my and my husband’s opinions.

Some of Melissa’s rules:

• Treat your husband like a king.

• Dress in outfits that your man likes. Wear jewelry he bought you (even if it’s not your favorite).

• Greet husband at the door with a hug, kiss, and a smile.

• Have sex at least every other night, specifically 3-5 times per week.

• Provide a home-cooked dinner most nights in a well-kept house with fresh and clean kids. (This one might be a bit of a struggle.)

• Flirt with your husband.

• Don’t let husband do the typical “feminine” chores like changing diapers and cleaning.

Now, obviously I think that some of these pieces of advice are silly or downright stupid (i.e. the last one). But I’m still going to try it and go as all-in as I can, for the purpose of the experiment.

As a reminder, I have this posted on my fridge. This will be my mantra for the coming month:


Wish me luck 😉

Keep reading The Melissa Gorga Experiment: Day 1

or find the whole collection of Melissa Gorga Experiment posts here!

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  • Karla T.
    October 1, 2013 at 8:16 AM

    Too much work. For me, I own a business, work at my family business, am in grad school, and am a mom. When do I have time to clean and cook and have sex?

    • The Naughty Mommy
      October 1, 2013 at 8:47 AM

      Agreed. Much easier to do this experiment without a full-time job. Now when someone like Bethenny writes secrets to having a hot and happy marriage while also running an empire, that is the book for YOU, Karla!

  • Holly
    October 1, 2013 at 9:39 AM

    If a celebrity writes a book about oppressing racial minorities, are you going to try that out in your own home for a month as well? You don’t need to ‘do the experiment’, you need to read John Stuart Mill’s “The Subjugation of Women”. Or just watch Mad Men. Feminists have been struggling for decades now to have men understand “no” to mean “no” (not “yes”, or “take whatever you want regardless of my preferences”), and to encourage women to fight for gender equality in the public and private spheres. I’m horrified that you find this book appealing enough to warrant taking the tips seriously. The only thing that’s going to give you a “healthy, loving, happy” marriage is equal respect, and your husband will not respect you if you’re making yourself a doormat for him, let alone that you most certainly ought to lose all respect for yourself.

    • The Naughty Mommy
      October 1, 2013 at 12:27 PM

      No, I would not do an experiment about oppressing racial minorities because that would involve hurting others. All MY experiment is doing is adopting a slightly different attitude towards my husband- not hurting anyone. I think people have misread the whole “treat your husband like a king” idea to mean that the wife is then the servant. Hardly- the husband treats the wife as a queen, and they rule together. It’s also about mutual respect and supporting one another, instead of having a “What’s in it for me?” mentality. I’m not sure which of Melissa’s tips advises becoming a doormat. She certainly isn’t one, nor could I ever be described as one.

  • Jessica
    October 1, 2013 at 12:46 PM

    Dont be a buzz kill holly. I think it’s a great idea and interesting. I can’t wait to read how it goes. As for the cooking does she suggest something fabulicious???? Ha!

    • The Naughty Mommy
      October 1, 2013 at 1:56 PM

      Lol, thanks Jessica. I mean really, all I’ve done differently today is hand my husband his cup of coffee this morning and shave my legs in the shower. How terrible!!!

  • Jennifer
    October 1, 2013 at 3:51 PM

    I haven’t read Melissa’s book but am an avid RHNJ fan. I also think that while every relationship is different, Melissa is really on to something…

    I don’t think it’s all that complicated really. Show your partner respect, kindness, and courtesy and it will go a long way. I believe it’s important to remain attractive to your partner (and what is attractive for one person may mean something other than sexy lingerie). The last thing you want is for your relationship to become too complacent and possibly platonic because you haven’t kept that little piece of what makes your relationship special alive.

    BTW when I read above the advice about not pooping in front of your husband I nearly died! Do people do that??!!! I can’t even imagine. …..

    “…Oh, excuse me honey…do you mind if I squeeze in here while you’re shaving so I can go poo? I won’t be long…just ignore me….”

    Oh em gee.

    I am curious to see how your experiment goes!

    • The Naughty Mommy
      October 1, 2013 at 4:06 PM

      Exactly! If people read her book, there wouldn’t be all this fuss. It’s actually sad that it takes this book to remind me that I should probably try to remain attractive and treat my partner like I did when we were dating.

  • Jen
    October 1, 2013 at 8:33 PM

    Who poops in front of their husband? Isn’t it just standard to shut the door when using the bathroom…at least when another adult is home.

    This all seems like pretty tame advice to me. Not easy, but not earth shattering. People need to calm down. I’m interested to see how this experiment goes. I might try it myself.

    • The Naughty Mommy
      October 1, 2013 at 9:32 PM

      LMAO. I know, right? Common sense and VERY tame. Calm down, people…

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  • Shannon
    October 3, 2013 at 2:05 PM

    I am having a WWMGD kind of day. So much to do and not enough time in the day. Hey, at least i look good.

  • Megan @ Lush to Blush
    October 3, 2013 at 3:45 PM

    I love this! And I agree with the comments here. I’m sure Melissa gives great advice and of course you’ll have to tweak it a little to make it right for you and your relationship, but the principles remain. I’m excited to see how it goes!

  • Melanie
    October 3, 2013 at 8:07 PM

    I like to think of it as “bringing sexy back”… I can’t find a single thing wrong with putting a little extra effort into your relationship. Who doesn’t get lazy and comfortable in their patterns? I’m not married and hell, I’m sure I could stand to spice things up and keep my guy on his toes. This is hardly about demeaning or disrespecting yourself. In fact- I think I’ll go shave my legs now…

  • Jeannette
    October 3, 2013 at 10:14 PM

    More power to you! I hope you have fun with this challenge. I’ve been doing some marital soul-searching of my own recently and a lot of these things do help. All I can say is, Yes, you probably will pass out from exhaustion. As long as the challenge is helping you be happier first, I think it’s a great thing.
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  • Barb @ A Life in Balance
    October 6, 2013 at 9:04 PM

    Yeah, I’m not up for that poop in front of the husband thing. I think there needs to be some privacy in marriage despite giving birth 5 times with him present.

    I’m very guilty of not wearing makeup or saying hello or goodbye to my hubby. I know he would appreciate that. So, yes, go for it.

    BTW, does your dh know you’re doing this, besides the sign?
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  • Tamara
    October 8, 2013 at 9:34 PM

    I understand the reasoning behind some of this but most of it won’t work at our house. For example, my husband gets home from work before I do so he usually greets me with a smile, has dinner started and has told at least one of the kids to shower. We both clean as much as possible and when we just have no more time or energy we call a housekeeper to help. I agree with having sex as often as possible. Plenty of sex makes it easier not to worry about stuff that may otherwise be annoying.

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