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Guys, I have a confession to make. I was not very Melissa Gorga-like today.

In fact, there were several times when I thought in my head, “What would Melissa Gorga do?” and I STILL did the opposite. Oops.

The morning started out rough. I was still getting over a terrible migraine from the night before.  If you’ve ever had a migraine, you know what I mean when I say there were still remnants of the headache lingering when I woke up.

Due to the migraine, I let my husband get up with our daughter while I stayed in bed a little later. I even let them go get bagels so I wouldn’t have to cook everyone breakfast. Meanwhile, two hours up the Parkway, Melissa Gorga was probably serving up mimosas and French toast in a cute Sunday football-watching outfit.

I, on the other hand, was still in my pajama sweats. Yes, you heard me right. I slept in my grubby, unfitted gray sweatpants and a t-shirt. Experiment be damned, that night was doomed for romance once the migraine hit.

I remained in my unsexy pajamas throughout the morning. Even though I wasn’t feeling my best, I tried to still project some Melissa Gorga niceness and let my husband watch his Formula 1 race on TV without having to deal with the children. Mind you, this race takes a good two hours to watch, so this was very considerate of me.

I kept everyone entertained upstairs as best as I could. Whenever we did go downstairs, it was only to give kisses and hugs and baby slobbers to my husband. Or to show him the baby’s cute outfit. I dressed him in an adorable ensemble that said “Daddy’s Crew” or some other car jargon on it. (I would have taken a picture, but he pretty much instantly pooped right through it.)

After his race was over, my husband took our daughter outside to play. I decided to attempt to pull myself together with some coffee and a shower. I put on my sexy sweatpants.

For lunch, my husband could sense that I wasn’t going to make us anything so he went out to get sandwiches. He came back with a chicken sandwich for me that had mayonnaise on it.




Since I hate mayonnaise more than any other food on the planet, the old me would have freaked out and insisted that he go back and get me a new one. But I just said, “I’m sure it was a mistake. I’ll just eat around the mayo,” while slowly dying inside.

In the afternoon, I had a sudden burst of energy and wanted to decorate my house with Halloween decorations, like the Gorga house surely is. I found a crafty idea on Pinterest and decided to go to AC Moore to get supplies.

I said, “I’ll take L with me, and you can watch the baby. He’s easier.”

“Actually, he’s not easier, and I’d rather watch L,” said my husband.

“Fine, I’ll just take both with me,” I said, very agreeably. Both of the kids were in good moods and it wasn’t going to be a big deal for me to bring them.

That’s when my husband flipped out and we had our first real fight of The Melissa Gorga Experiment.

“Ahhhh! I don’t want you working this hard! You can’t take both of them! I shouldn’t have said anything!” he said angrily.

I was confused. “I’m being nice,” I told him. “What’s your problem?”

He then confessed that he has no idea how to handle this new way that I have been behaving the past several days. It is actually scaring him. He is convinced that I am going to lose it and have a major meltdown from keeping all my usual anger and bitchiness bottled up.

Whoa.




I reacted very calmly and said that I’m fine and that by not allowing myself to react in my normal bratty way, I am changing my behavior pattern. And guess what? It actually feels good to be nice all the time.

I mean, so far…it has only been six days, though. Any bets on when I’m going to crack like my husband thinks and have a major blowout?

Keep reading The Melissa Gorga Experiment: Day 7

or find the whole collection of Melissa Gorga Experiment posts here!

 

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6 COMMENTS

  1. Yes, how we behave is a choice, but the verdict is still out as to how it effects you emotionally. I think the Melissa Gorga experiment should come with mandatory boxing lessons because you have to release. Otherwise you will burst. I know I would.

  2. Personally, I think this whole Melissa Gorga thing is pretty blech. I don’t know who she is (I’m assuming a star on a local TV show or reality show?), but it sounds like her tips are awfully superficial. I think it’s awesome that your husband said that about melting down by holding in all the frustrations and putting on a facade of niceness–it shows that he knows how real people function, and knows that life is not always roses and sexy lingerie. I haven’t read her book, and know nothing about her, so I’m only basing this reply on what I’ve gotten from reading your posts. Don’t get me wrong: I think aiming to focus on kindness and avoiding outbursts or yelling matches is great. I just think that in a marriage, it needs to go both ways. Just think: What if you aimed to treat your husband like a King… AND he aimed to treat you like a QUEEN!? You both would probably be a lot nicer, more peaceful, and the intimacy would follow suit.

    Reading these posts also reminds me how grateful I am that my husband doesn’t “hate” anything about my wardrobe or how I choose to put myself together. In fact, he notices a lot less of the “messiness” than I notice on myself! That’s not to say he doesn’t compliment me when I actually do shower and put on a nice shirt instead of my typical carharts and solid long-sleeved tee. But not showering isn’t a problem for him. Nor is what I wear, silly worn slippers and robe or not. When we got married, this was a bit infuriating since while I was trying to figure out all those little important details, his response was always a shrug and “I want a wedding where I’m married to you at the end” and that’s all he really cared about. But now, with a 1yr old and a 3yr old to raise, I’m soooo grateful that putting on a nice shirt and pair of earrings is what I do for ME to feel put-together, and that I don’t have to worry about making my husband happy while trying to dig through the dirty laundry to find the cleanest shirt to wear. Life as a mom is nuts. Having a supportive and loving husband through that is SO key. Maybe that’s where this experiment is headed?

    I think it’s great that you are aiming to change your behavior pattern and respond with kindness and compassion instead of brattiness. If this works for you, more power to you! But I agree with your husband–don’t forget to be honest (in a kind way) and allow yourself time to unwind. One night, hubby gets to go swim. The next night, momma gets to go get a pedicure and watch her shows with a nice BIG glass of wine. A marriage is a balance of love coming from both sides 🙂

    And thus ends my out-of-the-reality-tv-loop soapbox harangue. 🙂

    • Kitty, you made a lot of great points. And that’s something that I haven’t yet focused on in my posts, and you just reminded me to: that the husband IS supposed to treat the woman like a queen. She definitely explains that. I have taken being treated like a queen (most of the time) for granted. I need to start writing about that part, too. I just updated my Day 8 post to include how my husband came home with two pints of ice-cream for me 🙂

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