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Wow, has it only been five days already? The Melissa Gorga Experiment is making me do things I never would have before, like eat scantily-buttered popcorn at a movie not chosen by me. Here is the lowdown on Day 5:
At 4:30 A.M. the baby woke up. I fed him and put him back to sleep. At 5:30, just as I was finally drifting off again, Child #2 woke up.
Typically, my husband will get up with our toddler in the mornings, since I have usually been up during the night with the baby.
Today, though, I said, “It’s okay, darling. You sleep. Let me get up.” I wanted my
king husband to be well-rested.
When he finally woke up, I told him that Joe Gorga makes pancakes for the family on the weekends. “So you have to do it, too,” I told him.
So he made us a lovely breakfast of pancakes and Taylor ham. I even conceded to calling the Taylor ham “pork roll” just to make my husband happy. (Don’t get me started on this.)
After breakfast, the baby went down for a nap. I took my daughter and the dog with me for a run so that Daddy could have some more post-breakfast relaxing.
Then we all went to the grocery store together to get some things for a BBQ. Melissa says I should highlight my best asset and show it off to remind my husband why he married me.
I figured my butt looked pretty good in my running spandex, so I kept them on and tried to always walk a few feet ahead of my husband at the store so he could stare at it.
“Could you stop running ahead of me?” he requested. “I can barely keep up.” Oops.
In the afternoon I let my husband go off-roading with his friend for three hours without even a hint of a complaint from me. While he was out, I cooked, cleaned, and brushed up on some “What would Melissa Gorga do?” ideas from the book.
Melissa says that Saturday nights are “date nights!” My husband wanted to go see “Rush,” a movie about Formula 1 drivers.
“Sure, I’d love to go see a movie about 1970s car racing with you,” I lied. “Sounds perfect.”
In Love Italian Style I read that I was supposed to “go all out” for my date night- with a “super flash outfit” and “super glam makeup.” I started in the shower. I shaved my legs even though I was going be wearing jeans.
When I went to wash my hair, I had no shampoo left so I had to use my husband’s. Great. I came out of the shower smelling like a man. That’s surely not going to help with maintaining the proper gender roles.
I blow-dried my hair and put on mascara and my special Lavanila perfume, which smells like vanilla and gets me compliments everywhere I go.
I ended up wearing jeans and a long-sleeved gray shirt. Certainly not “flashy” or “glam,” but I figured that Melissa’s date nights probably don’t take her where mine did- TGIFriday’s and the AMC Marlton 8 Cinema.
At the movies, I did something I had never previously done. I let my husband control the toppings on the popcorn.
Usually, such things are my domain, because I will whine and complain until I get my way. And my way is THE RIGHT WAY- to put TONS of butter and salt on. Like enough so that the bag is a greasy, delicious mess.
Tonight, though, I let him take control of the buttering situation so that we wouldn’t be confused in the bedroom later. (He put minimal butter and what tasted like no salt, but this had the added bonus of me eating way less than usual.)
Unfortunately, there would be no “in the bedroom” confusion later anyway. I got a migraine during the movie, went home, and immediately fell asleep.
I know my husband enjoyed us going to a movie he picked. I’m sure he wished that I didn’t have to leave immediately after and ditch his friends without saying goodbye, but hey, I bet even Melissa Gorga gets migraines sometimes.
Keep reading The Melissa Gorga Experiment: Day 6…
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