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The Melissa Gorga Experiment: Day 2

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Day 2 of The Melissa Gorga Experiment is in the books. A few small triumphs and some hiccups, but we are still moving right along on the path to a hot and happy marriage (I think?).

Yesterday, my husband walked into the kitchen for breakfast and found this:


Seeing that I had gotten his breakfast ready for him made him suspicious. Was there poison in it? He offered our two-year-old a bite and when she didn’t drop dead, he realized it was safe to eat.

I guess I am usually such a bitch in the mornings that even my small gestures of niceness are viewed with skepticism. But I forged on with the experiment.

When my husband suggested that I should nap when the baby naps after being up a lot the night before, I resisted the urge to punch him in the face.

He then also suggested that I should probably also skip my coffee to make this imaginary nap easier to take.

“That sounds like a great idea,” I lied. “I will definitely try it.” I think that’s what Melissa Gorga would have said to Joe had he told her the same thing.

What I usually would have said: “I HATE when people tell me to ‘nap when the baby naps.’ Naps are the only time of day that I have to actually get stuff done. Stop telling me what to do with my time. And don’t you DARE tell me not to have coffee. In fact, now I will have two cups, just to spite you.”

Later that morning, I actually did try to nap. Fail. So then I had my coffee.

After I went to pick my daughter up from school, we stopped at my husband’s office to say hi. Before going in, I put mascara, lip gloss, and perfume on. (Still no shower yet, but I covered well. I think.) I even kissed him goodbye when we left.

The afternoon threw me a curveball. A doctor’s appointment took way longer than I thought, and there was no way I was going to get the house cleaned and dinner made by the time N came home from work. Let alone take that elusive shower.

I thought to myself, What would Melissa Gorga do? Would she throw in the towel and give up on house, dinner, and shower? NO. I decided to take a quick bubble bath to A) do the all-important shaving my legs task and B) quickly calm me down and get me in the mood to be nice to my family.

Then I ran around the house and did surface cleaning.

And as for dinner, I ordered a pizza. Hey, it’s Italian, right? #WhatWouldMelissaGorgaDo?

Keep reading The Melissa Gorga Experiment: Day 3

or find the whole collection of Melissa Gorga Experiment posts here!

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  • Becky
    October 3, 2013 at 9:06 AM

    A bubble bath sounds extravagant! Did you have Melissa’s songs on in the background?
    Becky recently posted…20 Fall Activities for Kids with Winter SquashMy Profile

    • The Naughty Mommy
      October 3, 2013 at 1:39 PM

      Becky, great idea…I should totally be listening to “On Display, On Display, On Display!”

  • Sarah @ Finnegan and the Hughes
    October 3, 2013 at 10:47 AM

    OMG! I am dying!!!! Can’t wait for tomorrow!!

  • Jessica
    October 3, 2013 at 1:13 PM

    Nap when the babies nap. Right up there with “calm down” and “you’re overreacting” as most irritating sayings. Seriously when does the house get cleaned, the bills paid or the dinner prepped. Not bopping your husband took a great deal of self control. I am proud of you. Today is my four year wedding anniversary and hubbie did nothing and planned nothing. I ripped him a new one as I think that is what Melissa would have done. And the carrot stained sweatshirt is back. And as for further punishment I went from leggings to full blown sweatpants. I will re-gorganize when I see a card or gift. And the gift better be $$$$ as I think that is what Melissa expects.

    • The Naughty Mommy
      October 3, 2013 at 1:38 PM

      LMAO Jessica. I like your reaction. I got no present this year for my 3rd anniversary. No gift, no card.

  • Allison
    October 3, 2013 at 1:57 PM

    Love the new “WWMD” in your attitude! What would Melissa think about your “Love Love Loves” column?

  • Sadie
    October 3, 2013 at 8:46 PM

    Good for you! I see MG is RTing your experiment, which makes me curious; If you should ever come to a point when you decide the “Love Italian Style, WWMGD” experiment isn’t working for YOU or you come to realize her “Secrets” are riddled with unrealistic guidance coupled with things that are no secret at all (ie. hairy legs,) will you post? OR will you post anything negative you may have realized while conducting your experiment knowing she is reading your column? I’m not being snarky, just asking honest questions.

    Hope you’re having fun 🙂

    • The Naughty Mommy
      October 3, 2013 at 8:56 PM

      I would totally be honest…I’m having fun with this. I did enjoy reading the book, though, so I’m not sure I would have much bad stuff to say about it. And yes, I agree that some of the advice is elementary, i.e. shave your legs. But why did I need to read it in a book in order to start doing it?!

  • Monica
    October 4, 2013 at 3:40 AM

    You do realize Melissa gorga has nannies? She talked about them in her first season on the show, she was actually putting down her sister in law for leaving her kids with thier grandma, and boasting about her nannies.. So Melissa gorga would have more time to shower, cook and clean than you do which discounts this experiment .

  • Elizabeth
    October 6, 2013 at 10:36 AM

    LOVE this blog & your experiment. LMAO when u resisted the urge to punch your hubby in the face : ) I hated it when people told me to nap when the baby naps! Can’t wait to read what comes next!

  • The Melissa Gorga Experiment: Day 1 - The Naughty Mommy
    April 18, 2014 at 6:18 AM

    […] Keep reading The Melissa Gorga Experiment: Day 2… […]

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