Day 2 of The Melissa Gorga Experiment is in the books. A few small triumphs and some hiccups, but we are still moving right along on the path to a hot and happy marriage (I think?).
Yesterday, my husband walked into the kitchen for breakfast and found this:
Seeing that I had gotten his breakfast ready for him made him suspicious. Was there poison in it? He offered our two-year-old a bite and when she didn’t drop dead, he realized it was safe to eat.
I guess I am usually such a bitch in the mornings that even my small gestures of niceness are viewed with skepticism. But I forged on with the experiment.
When my husband suggested that I should nap when the baby naps after being up a lot the night before, I resisted the urge to punch him in the face.
He then also suggested that I should probably also skip my coffee to make this imaginary nap easier to take.
“That sounds like a great idea,” I lied. “I will definitely try it.” I think that’s what Melissa Gorga would have said to Joe had he told her the same thing.
What I usually would have said: “I HATE when people tell me to ‘nap when the baby naps.’ Naps are the only time of day that I have to actually get stuff done. Stop telling me what to do with my time. And don’t you DARE tell me not to have coffee. In fact, now I will have two cups, just to spite you.”
Later that morning, I actually did try to nap. Fail. So then I had my coffee.
After I went to pick my daughter up from school, we stopped at my husband’s office to say hi. Before going in, I put mascara, lip gloss, and perfume on. (Still no shower yet, but I covered well. I think.) I even kissed him goodbye when we left.
The afternoon threw me a curveball. A doctor’s appointment took way longer than I thought, and there was no way I was going to get the house cleaned and dinner made by the time N came home from work. Let alone take that elusive shower.
I thought to myself, What would Melissa Gorga do? Would she throw in the towel and give up on house, dinner, and shower? NO. I decided to take a quick bubble bath to A) do the all-important shaving my legs task and B) quickly calm me down and get me in the mood to be nice to my family.
Then I ran around the house and did surface cleaning.
And as for dinner, I ordered a pizza. Hey, it’s Italian, right? #WhatWouldMelissaGorgaDo?
Keep reading The Melissa Gorga Experiment: Day 3…