Much of The Melissa Gorga Experiment has been about one thing- me biting my tongue. Previously, when my husband messed up, I let him know.
But now, I am trying my darndest to let things slide. To be a pleasant person. To go against my natural tendency to be a bitch.
And it is hard.
Take Day 19, for example. Several things my husband did were SO HARD to ignore. But I did.
Like when he farted at the breakfast table. Twice. And he kept telling my daughter that a spider did it. I bit my tongue instead of yelling, “Oh my God you are so gross can’t you go do that in another room?!?!”
Later, I went to take a shower and there was hair in the drain. Who had just taken a shower? My husband. Now, leaving my hair in the drain is something I get hassled about on a daily basis.
And rarely will I find hair in the drain from my husband. But yesterday I did. My instinct was to run right out and say, “Look what you did! YOU left this hair!”
Again, I bit my tongue. And then there was the third strike, and the most grievous of the three. I went into the bedroom and saw his empty water glass on my laptop.
Let me tell you, if I had EVER left a drink glass sitting on my husband’s computer…well, it wouldn’t be pretty. He always likes to remind me how he takes excellent care of his things, especially electronics. Yet here he goes, leaving a glass on my laptop.
But I let it go. Serenity now, I breathed.
Other than those three incidents, Day 19 was fantastic.
I started the day with the best intentions, in order to make up for yesterday’s major flop. My husband got up with the baby at 5:00 A.M., since I had been up with him at 2:30 or 4:30, I don’t remember which anymore.
When our two-year-old woke up at 7:00, I got up and let my hubby go back to bed…til 9:00. I know, I am amazing. I had both kids with me and playing quietly for two hours.
When my husband finally emerged from the bedroom, I greeted him cheerfully and sexily. “I have a clogged duct in my breast, wanna feel it?” I said.
“Um no thanks, I don’t want to feel your boobie boner,” he said.
Then, I even made breakfast: scrambled eggs, Taylor ham, and English muffins.
Later in the day I went for a run, showered, and put on an attractive outfit of tight jeans and a cleavage-y shirt. When he still hadn’t said anything about my outfit after an hour, I said, “Don’t you like my outfit?”
“I do,” he said.
“Well then why didn’t you say anything?” I asked.
“I thought I just had to look at it,” he said. Oh.
At night we had my husband’s brother over for dinner. I served them beers and let them hang out by the bonfire outside while I put the kids to bed. I even made a beautiful apple crumb pie.
Day 19- BAM! I Gorganized the shit out of it. Have a lovely Sunday, everyone!
Keep reading The Melissa Gorga Experiment: Day 20…