Day 10 of The Melissa Gorga Experiment featured a rainy day at home followed by a girls’ night out. But before I get into that, I wanted to address something.
Several readers have commented on the fact that since I am treating my husband like a king, he should also be treating me like a queen.
One reader wrote:
I just think that in a marriage, it needs to go both ways. Just think: What if you aimed to treat your husband like a King… AND he aimed to treat you like a QUEEN!? You both would probably be a lot nicer, more peaceful, and the intimacy would follow suit.
I 100% agree with this statement. My apologies if I haven’t expressed that how the husband treats his wife is also part of the deal. And according to Melissa Gorga, it is a defining part of her marriage.
She writes, “If I treated him like a King, he’d respond by treating me like a Queen. It was a leap of faith. I’m so glad I made it. I feel blessed by the love, passion, and respect he gives me every day.”
Granted, we are only exposed to a tiny portion of their lives on The Real Housewives of New Jersey. But from what we do see, it’s pretty clear that Joe Gorga worships Melissa. He does treat her like his queen.
And okay, even if you say that they are playing it up for the cameras…do you really believe that Joe Gorga is able to fake all of the love and loyalty he displays for his wife? I don’t.
In my marriage, there was never really an issue of me not being treated like a queen. My husband is patient and devoted. He is a helpful and hands-on parent. I have always felt supported.
Is he perfect? No. He leaves cereal bowls in the sink without rinsing them so that the little bits of cereal get stuck on the bowl. He is a little too honest about my cooking. He NEVER gets me flowers. And he spends way too much time messing with his cars. (BTW, if anyone wants to buy his Miata and get it out of our garage, PLEASE DO.)
The issue was how I treated him. I took him for granted. I yelled. I lost my patience. I threw tantrums and lashed out, saying mean things. I kept score. I resented the fact that I was home all day with the kids, cooking and cleaning. I made sure to let him know just how miserable my days were…texting him all of the negative parts of my day, while glossing over the good parts. And for what? So he could feel upset and helpless at work?
This did not make for the happiest marriage.
Reading Love Italian Style encouraged me to embrace my role within the marriage. Why not focus on the positives of my days and be loving towards my husband instead of trying to always be the winner?
Anyways- my original point is that Melissa Gorga’s book is about how you treat your husband. The assumption is that your husband will treat you like a queen. By all means, if your husband treats you like shit- don’t do this experiment.
For me, I wanted to see if changing my behavior towards my husband could make ME happier and my marriage better…something I will decide after these 31 days are up.
Back to Day 10. Since I had a rare girls’ night out planned, I made sure to have everything under control by the time my husband got home from work.
The kids had eaten, were bathed, and dressed in their pajamas. Were they crying and screaming as I escaped out the front door? Maybe. But they were all ready for bed.
My husband’s dinner was waiting on the table for him. Slightly burnt, but still edible.
I tried to pick some sexy, Melissa Gorga-ish clothing items to try on, including a blue leopard-print dress and an awesome hat.
In the end, I went with a pair of skinny jeans and a hot dress for a wedding this weekend (pics of those to come!).
Remember how I was telling you how wonderful my husband was? Get this- he even kept both kids up so that they were STILL AWAKE when I got home at 9:00! How did he know that I would want to see them again after being with them all day??? He must have read my mind. What a doll
And honey, if you’re reading this, your queen would like you to bring home some wine tonight.
Photo courtesy of Sarah from Finnegan & The Hughes.
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