Marriage Melissa Gorga Experiment Relationships

The Melissa Gorga Experiment: Day 10

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Day 10 of The Melissa Gorga Experiment featured a rainy day at home followed by a girls’ night out. But before I get into that, I wanted to address something.

Several readers have commented on the fact that since I am treating my husband like a king, he should also be treating me like a queen. 

One reader wrote:  

I just think that in a marriage, it needs to go both ways. Just think: What if you aimed to treat your husband like a King… AND he aimed to treat you like a QUEEN!? You both would probably be a lot nicer, more peaceful, and the intimacy would follow suit.

I 100% agree with this statement. My apologies if I haven’t expressed that how the husband treats his wife is also part of the deal. And according to Melissa Gorga, it is a defining part of her marriage. 

She writes, “If I treated him like a King, he’d respond by treating me like a Queen. It was a leap of faith. I’m so glad I made it. I feel blessed by the love, passion, and respect he gives me every day.” 

Granted, we are only exposed to a tiny portion of their lives on The Real Housewives of New Jersey. But from what we do see, it’s pretty clear that Joe Gorga worships Melissa. He does treat her like his queen.

And okay, even if you say that they are playing it up for the cameras…do you really believe that Joe Gorga is able to fake all of the love and loyalty he displays for his wife? I don’t. 

In my marriage, there was never really an issue of me not being treated like a queen. My husband is patient and devoted. He is a helpful and hands-on parent. I have always felt supported.

Is he perfect? No. He leaves cereal bowls in the sink without rinsing them so that the little bits of cereal get stuck on the bowl. He is a little too honest about my cooking. He NEVER gets me flowers. And he spends way too much time messing with his cars. (BTW, if anyone wants to buy his Miata and get it out of our garage, PLEASE DO.)

The issue was how I treated him. I took him for granted. I yelled. I lost my patience. I threw tantrums and lashed out, saying mean things. I kept score. I resented the fact that I was home all day with the kids, cooking and cleaning. I made sure to let him know just how miserable my days were…texting him all of the negative parts of my day, while glossing over the good parts. And for what? So he could feel upset and helpless at work?

This did not make for the happiest marriage.

Reading Love Italian Style encouraged me to embrace my role within the marriage. Why not focus on the positives of my days and be loving towards my husband instead of trying to always be the winner?

Anyways- my original point is that Melissa Gorga’s book is about how you treat your husband. The assumption is that your husband will treat you like a queen. By all means, if your husband treats you like shit- don’t do this experiment. 

For me, I wanted to see if changing my behavior towards my husband could make ME happier and my marriage better…something I will decide after these 31 days are up.

Back to Day 10. Since I had a rare girls’ night out planned, I made sure to have everything under control by the time my husband got home from work.

The kids had eaten, were bathed, and dressed in their pajamas. Were they crying and screaming as I escaped out the front door? Maybe. But they were all ready for bed.

My husband’s dinner was waiting on the table for him. Slightly burnt, but still edible.

I met my friend Sarah at South Moon Under for a night of cocktails and shopping put on by the fabulous ladies of Girls’ Lunch Out

I tried to pick some sexy, Melissa Gorga-ish clothing items to try on, including a blue leopard-print dress and an awesome hat.



In the end, I went with a pair of skinny jeans and a hot dress for a wedding this weekend (pics of those to come!).

Remember how I was telling you how wonderful my husband was? Get this- he even kept both kids up so that they were STILL AWAKE when I got home at 9:00! How did he know that I would want to see them again after being with them all day???  He must have read my mind. What a doll 😉

And honey, if you’re reading this, your queen would like you to bring home some wine tonight. 

Keep reading The Melissa Gorga Experiment: Day 11

or find the whole collection of Melissa Gorga Experiment posts here!

Photo courtesy of Sarah from Finnegan & The Hughes.

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links.

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  • Sarah
    October 11, 2013 at 11:15 AM

    Love the hat!

    • The Naughty Mommy
      October 11, 2013 at 8:32 PM

      Thank you, Sarah!

  • ronnie
    October 11, 2013 at 11:33 AM

    It was great to meet you last night! Can’t wait to read more of your blog.

    Your experiment sounds interesting!! I look forward to hearing the final outcome after the 31 days — seems positive so far!
    ronnie recently posted…Fall List UpdateMy Profile

    • The Naughty Mommy
      October 11, 2013 at 8:32 PM

      Thank you! You too, Ronnie!

  • Heather M
    October 11, 2013 at 12:25 PM

    Love this. SO much about marriage can be our very own attitude. I love the hat and can’t wait to see the other outfits. So wish I could have gone to South Moon Under last night.
    Heather M recently posted…Chicken Cheddar ZitiMy Profile

    • The Naughty Mommy
      October 11, 2013 at 8:32 PM

      Heather, the store is fabulous! Wish you could have been there.

  • Brittny
    October 11, 2013 at 4:24 PM


  • Sabrina
    October 11, 2013 at 6:41 PM

    It seems like its working for you…. your husband must be happy with all the attention and kindness you’re showing! What a great idea to do this experiment…. I think we all need a wake-up call every now and again…

    • The Naughty Mommy
      October 11, 2013 at 8:31 PM

      He is happy! He especially liked today’s post.

  • Missy-in-NJ
    October 14, 2013 at 10:22 AM

    Never let him forget how hard it is :-). If it’s a crappy day, you don’t have to rehash it or give a blow-by-blow as it happens as to how crappy it is. But say, “Ugh, it was crappy,” and then move on. What if you let him know if there’s something he could do? Like, once in a while, say, “Ugh, it’s going crappy. Could you please pick up dinner tonight? I just can’t handle cooking.” Or, “Ugh, it’s going crappy, I reeeeally need you to pick up the dry cleaning, I just can’t do it.” then he’s helping out in a very specific way. Good luck. It gets better, I promise!

    • The Naughty Mommy
      October 14, 2013 at 1:28 PM

      Oh I definitely do that…for example, last night I let him know that dinner was just not happening. So we ordered Chinese food. I also can differentiate between me texting “Ugh I’m having a really bad day” and other texts that are just all “woe is me” and meant to show him just how hard I have it. I think he already knows that.

  • The Melissa Gorga Experiment: Day 9 - The Naughty Mommy
    April 18, 2014 at 6:31 AM

    […] Keep reading The Melissa Gorga Experiment: Day 10.. […]

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