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The Melissa Gorga Experiment: Conclusions

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Melissa Gorga Experiment Conclusions

I’ve had a few days to reflect on how The Melissa Gorga Experiment worked out for me, for my husband, and for our marriage.

Love Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage was supposed to teach me how to make my marriage (duh) hotter and happier. So was it?

My answer is…

YES!

My days were spent being nice to my husband, because I was treating him “like a king.” 

And my nights were spent…well, you know how Melissa Gorga spends her nights in the bedroom with Joe!

But while I’m sure my husband enjoyed having more sex, I think it was the simple fact that I was being agreeable and supportive that made our marriage happier.

Pre-experiment, we fought pretty often. More often than I’d like to admit. I don’t mean knock-down drag-out fights where we are yelling at each other and slamming doors. (We have those, too- just not very often.)

I’m talking about bickering. Bickering that was 90% of the time started by me…because I was in a bad mood or I just felt like being a brat. 

I made sure to always complain a lot and moan about how awful my days were. I also made sure to point out every little thing that my husband did wrong, and I never acknowledged anything that he did right. (Sound familiar?)

I didn’t realize how good I had it. 

Once Melissa Gorga advised me to treat my husband like a king, I saw how I was already being treated like a queen in return. 

My husband bowed (cowed?) to my every wish, usually. (Probably because he didn’t want to start a fight.)

Since I couldn’t be a demanding bitch anymore, I was nice. Like the person I see myself as in my head. Like the person I’d like others to see me as.

I stopped picking fights. I stopped keeping score. I kissed my husband more. I met him at the door with a smile.

The cooking and cleaning part of the experiment? Yeah, it was annoying, but that part actually made me happy.

I LOVED having a clean house at the end of the day. (No matter how much stuff I had to throw in the closet to get to that point.)

But what I really loved was how my demeanor changed. Being nice made me calmer. And being nice to my husband made me feel good about myself. 

Certain parts of the experiment worked better than others. 

One suggestion of Melissa’s that did not work for us was that I was supposed to take on all aspects of child care and not let my husband change diapers. With a four-month-old and a two-year-old, that was just not possible. 

During the evening hours, I NEED my husband’s help. I could not survive without it. To get two children fed, bathed, and in bed by a reasonable hour, it takes teamwork. 

Nor would my husband want to miss out on that routine every night. For us, that would just be weird. 

Now that October is over, people keep asking me if I am relieved. I definitely can relax a bit and not feel pressure to be “perfectly Melissa Gorga-like” in all aspects of my life.

But that doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop doing everything from the experiment. I’m just going to do my own modified M.G. lifestyle.

Take yesterday. My in-laws were coming over for dinner. I suggested that we just order a pizza. My husband suggested an Indian dish that is very delicious, but a labor-intensive recipe. 

Because I knew he really wanted it for dinner, I agreed. (Because that’s what Melissa Gorga would have done.)

BUT I made him chop all the veggies for me. (Definitely NOT what Melissa Gorga would have done.)

(My husband is an awesome sous chef, by the way.)

And today- I saved him the last piece of apple pie. Never mind the fact that I had already eaten three pieces throughout the day. Everyone knows that the last piece is the best. And I left it for him.

Now will I be shaving my legs every day? Take a wild guess.

So I’d like to thank Melissa Gorga. Her book showed me that treating my husband like a king isn’t so bad, especially when you get treated like a queen in return.

Thank you to everyone who followed along with this experiment! I loved hearing everyone’s comments and opinions. Y’all are wonderful!

Find the whole collection of Melissa Gorga Experiment posts here!

Guess what? You can Gorganize your marriage, too! Enter to win your own autographed copy of Love Italian Style using the Rafflecopter widget below.  This giveaway has ended.

The winner will be announced next Monday, November 11th. And if you don’t win? Get out and buy a copy!

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  • Beth
    November 4, 2013 at 9:12 PM

    I’ve enjoyed following along. You’ve provided a few chuckles along the way. As far as my tip? Well, just biting your up tongue once in a while his a long way.
    Beth recently posted…Halloween 2013My Profile

  • Sarah
    November 4, 2013 at 9:22 PM

    I have no secrets but I try and turn arguments into a joke like saying things like “ok sweet cheeks”. I did it the other day and it it threw my husband off so he laughed

  • Alissa
    November 4, 2013 at 9:46 PM

    I think meeting your husband/wife at the door each day (or at least acknowledging their arrival home – with a smile, that is) is a simple way to improve the day-to-day. And one I need to work on doing more myself!
    Alissa recently posted…20 Toys to Help With Fine Motor SkillsMy Profile

  • Becky Seizuregirl Sloan
    November 4, 2013 at 10:05 PM

    I thoroughly enjoyed your daily recount of living like Melissa. Congrats on making it through the 30 days. I have a white robe just like your blue robe!

  • Jeanine @MommyEntourage
    November 4, 2013 at 10:46 PM

    I can’t think of any secrets off hand but I know that compromise always works in any type of relationship! I’m interested to check out the book after reading your posts!
    Jeanine @MommyEntourage recently posted…Hot New Toys from Peppa PigMy Profile

  • Tara
    November 4, 2013 at 11:00 PM

    I have loved reading your blog and following along with you in this journey. I have three kids, 9,4, and 5 months, I can relate so much with you! I will be trying this experiment. Thank you for the motivation to be a better wife to my “king” .

  • Heather {LocalFunforKids}
    November 5, 2013 at 12:06 AM

    I have to say, I’m totally intrigued. This isn’t the typical type of book I’d read, but, after reading some of your posts, I really want to read it. I don’t really have any ‘secrets’ to share. But, I think one of the keys to a happy marriage is knowing when to pick your battles. It’s something I try to keep in mind with other aspects of life too.
    Heather {LocalFunforKids} recently posted…Free Admission to U.S. National Parks November 9-11My Profile

  • Life with Kaishon
    November 5, 2013 at 9:16 AM

    I am so glad you had such a positive outcome. I think being kind always makes life better! : )

  • Karla T.
    November 5, 2013 at 9:49 AM

    You know that I am your fan already. I applaud you for sticking this sh*t out. I would have given up. The one thing that I started doing was making my kids clean up various rooms in the house. That helps my husband out a lot. My boys are 7 and 5 and should be vacuuming and keeping their toys off the floor, not me. What was my point…oh yes, your own routine is what will make you happiest, not copying someone else’s life. I’m glad that you see that for yourself.

  • Rita
    November 5, 2013 at 10:48 AM

    Thanks so much for taking us on this ride! Reading your daily undertakings has become a part of my morning coffee routine! You rocked it out mama! Now I need me some apple pie! LOL

  • Marion
    November 5, 2013 at 10:49 AM

    I loved reading about your Melissa Gorga month!! I’m intrigued by the book too – it’s definitely not something I would normally read, but you’ve inspired me. And how fun that you got Melissa to sign it for you! As for marriage tips?? Pick your battles, and try not to keep score. 🙂

  • Samantha
    November 5, 2013 at 7:57 PM

    i LOVED your month long journey. my tip for a hot marriage? put on my “pretty” pajamas before we even eat dinner. then i feel 100% committed and will do just about anything to ensure it was not for naught.

  • Anna
    November 5, 2013 at 9:45 PM

    I really enjoyed following you on this journey. I also tried incorporating a few MG ideas in my life as well and it has been very positive. Thank you again for sharing.

  • Brittny
    November 6, 2013 at 12:17 AM

    I loved this & I am considering doing the experiment. It may just save a marriage or recreate the beginnings of a new one. I will continue to read your blog

  • Brittny
    November 6, 2013 at 12:26 AM

    And to add to my previous comment I think the ultimate secret to a hot & happy marriage is limitless love for one another. Everything else falls into place when you have love

  • Sabrina
    November 6, 2013 at 11:50 AM

    1. Pick your battles. If he always leaves his dirty socks on the ground, just pick them up. He’s probably not going to change, so get over it.

    2. Don’t ever do anything to emasculate your man. You’re the woman and he’s the man. Don’t forget that.

    • Danette Estrada
      November 6, 2013 at 9:53 PM

      I think that the way to keep a Hot and Happy marriage is to always treat your husband like Is the only man in the world. Make him feel lime the sun & rises around him but he has to do the same foe you. My husband is my best friend in the world there is nothing we wouldn’t do for each other! We also never go to bed angey or leave the house fighting. We make sure that we are a still lovers. We enjoy being with e ach othet we are always touching and playing we sneak off on the mornings for alone time or in the middle in the afternoon. We keep our love life fresh and exciting along with our friendship! We ate a puzzle we just don’t work without the other one.

  • Vanessa
    November 7, 2013 at 2:16 AM

    I love that you gave yourself this challenge! I am in the first week of doing this and I have to say me and my husband both seem happier and I absolutely love having a clean house 🙂

  • Melanie
    November 7, 2013 at 3:28 PM

    I stumbled onto your blog after seeing the tweet on Melissa Gorga’s timeline about your thirty day experiment and was immediately hooked. You write with such humor and honesty and I really looked forward to reading each day’s entry!

    p.s I would love to enter for a chance to win but what on earth is a rafflecopter widget and how do I enter using it?

  • KT
    November 8, 2013 at 5:57 PM

    I really enjoyed reading this daily! I will definitely be following the tips (or at least trying to) and may read Melissa’s book. Thanks for sharing your experience.

  • Jenny Rice
    January 2, 2014 at 3:17 PM

    I have thoroughly enjoyed following your WWMGD experiment. The book has received poor reviews on Amazon, but I may get it anyway, after reading your posts. I agree that some of the ideas are silly, but some are actually good. Imagine ~ being nicer to my husband! 🙂 Thanks for doing this!

    • The Naughty Mommy
      January 3, 2014 at 9:49 AM

      Thank you, Jenny! If you are a Melissa Gorga or RHONJ fan, it’s a fun read. It’s not rocket science.

  • The Melissa Gorga Experiment: Day 31 - The Naughty Mommy
    April 18, 2014 at 6:59 AM

    […] Keep reading The Melissa Gorga Experiment: Conclusions… […]

  • Nikki
    January 22, 2016 at 2:40 AM

    I have a plushy blue robe my husband hates too haha. I love it so much.

    Loved reading your posts!

    • Lindsay
      January 22, 2016 at 6:37 AM

      I have replaced that blue one with a different plushy one that he hates! Hahaha.

    Connect!