I’ve had a few days to reflect on how The Melissa Gorga Experiment worked out for me, for my husband, and for our marriage.
Love Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage was supposed to teach me how to make my marriage (duh) hotter and happier. So was it?
My answer is…
My days were spent being nice to my husband, because I was treating him “like a king.”
And my nights were spent…well, you know how Melissa Gorga spends her nights in the bedroom with Joe!
But while I’m sure my husband enjoyed having more sex, I think it was the simple fact that I was being agreeable and supportive that made our marriage happier.
Pre-experiment, we fought pretty often. More often than I’d like to admit. I don’t mean knock-down drag-out fights where we are yelling at each other and slamming doors. (We have those, too- just not very often.)
I’m talking about bickering. Bickering that was 90% of the time started by me…because I was in a bad mood or I just felt like being a brat.
I made sure to always complain a lot and moan about how awful my days were. I also made sure to point out every little thing that my husband did wrong, and I never acknowledged anything that he did right. (Sound familiar?)
I didn’t realize how good I had it.
Once Melissa Gorga advised me to treat my husband like a king, I saw how I was already being treated like a queen in return.
My husband bowed (cowed?) to my every wish, usually. (Probably because he didn’t want to start a fight.)
Since I couldn’t be a demanding bitch anymore, I was nice. Like the person I see myself as in my head. Like the person I’d like others to see me as.
I stopped picking fights. I stopped keeping score. I kissed my husband more. I met him at the door with a smile.
The cooking and cleaning part of the experiment? Yeah, it was annoying, but that part actually made me happy.
I LOVED having a clean house at the end of the day. (No matter how much stuff I had to throw in the closet to get to that point.)
But what I really loved was how my demeanor changed. Being nice made me calmer. And being nice to my husband made me feel good about myself.
Certain parts of the experiment worked better than others.
One suggestion of Melissa’s that did not work for us was that I was supposed to take on all aspects of child care and not let my husband change diapers. With a four-month-old and a two-year-old, that was just not possible.
During the evening hours, I NEED my husband’s help. I could not survive without it. To get two children fed, bathed, and in bed by a reasonable hour, it takes teamwork.
Nor would my husband want to miss out on that routine every night. For us, that would just be weird.
Now that October is over, people keep asking me if I am relieved. I definitely can relax a bit and not feel pressure to be “perfectly Melissa Gorga-like” in all aspects of my life.
But that doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop doing everything from the experiment. I’m just going to do my own modified M.G. lifestyle.
Take yesterday. My in-laws were coming over for dinner. I suggested that we just order a pizza. My husband suggested an Indian dish that is very delicious, but a labor-intensive recipe.
Because I knew he really wanted it for dinner, I agreed. (Because that’s what Melissa Gorga would have done.)
BUT I made him chop all the veggies for me. (Definitely NOT what Melissa Gorga would have done.)
(My husband is an awesome sous chef, by the way.)
And today- I saved him the last piece of apple pie. Never mind the fact that I had already eaten three pieces throughout the day. Everyone knows that the last piece is the best. And I left it for him.
Now will I be shaving my legs every day? Take a wild guess.
So I’d like to thank Melissa Gorga. Her book showed me that treating my husband like a king isn’t so bad, especially when you get treated like a queen in return.
Thank you to everyone who followed along with this experiment! I loved hearing everyone’s comments and opinions. Y’all are wonderful!
Guess what? You can Gorganize your marriage, too!
Enter to win your own autographed copy of Love Italian Style using the Rafflecopter widget below. This giveaway has ended.
The winner will be announced next Monday, November 11th. And if you don’t win? Get out and buy a copy!