Will Samantha and Joe’s evil plot to take over Paradise succeed? Or will Samantha come out from under the spell of the Southern psychopath?
Will Ashley’s sanity fail her as Dan continues to date Amber? Or will the parrots help her keep her cool?
Will Jade and Tanner continue their reign as the most boring couple on the beach?
Get all the highlights from last night’s Bachelor in Paradise right here!
10. Ugh I hate when people say “conversate,” so of course, Joe would be the one to use that word. Is it even a word? Just say “talk.” Or “discuss.” Or in Joe’s case, don’t “conversate” at all.
9. Why would Ashley S. sit right next to Dan (who had Amber on his other side) at the cocktail party? Awkward! I mean, not as awkward as when Joe and Sam tried to “come clean” to the group. And definitely not as awkward as when Jared and Ashley I. went off for some alone time. Good grief that was painful to watch. She has zero game.
8. “I didn’t find love on Bachelorette. I didn’t find love on Bachelor in Paradise. But I found myself and…these girls all think I’m awesome. That excites me.” –J.J.’s exit speech. #TeamJJ
7. All the people saying that J.J. and Dan should give Juelia their rose…why should they give up their chance for love? Tanner wants Juelia to get a rose. Did Tanner give her a rose? No, he gave one to Jade. Kirk wants Juelia to get a rose. Did Kirk give Juelia a rose? No, he gave one to Carly. Stop telling Dan and J.J. to sacrifice themselves. #IhaveacrushonDan
6. I have never liked Mikey until he hopped out of the car and saved Juelia’s butt.
5. I love Nick Peterson. He had the best, most shocking Bachelor Pad win in history. Man– the look on Samantha’s face when he walked down those steps was pure terror. Girlfriend knew she was busted.
4. OMG. That scene with a most likely blacked-out Ashley S. in the hot tub telling Nick that she’ll always be there for him like a sister. “Well, we just kissed, so let’s not say ‘sister.'” –Nick. That’s the way a date in Paradise should go. Gettin’ drunk and then makin’ out in a hot tub with a hot dude in short little pants.
3. So what is going to be Jade and Tanner’s celebrity couple nickname…Tade or Janner?
2. Watching Joe unravel is THE BEST. His self-hosted birthday party was the saddest thing ever. And I loved it. Happy Birthday, Douchebag1
1. “There hasn’t been any drama all day today.” –Joe, trying to explain to Samantha that things are fine because no one has yelled at him today.