The Lone Traveler {On Divorce}

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That moment when you realize that your marriage is over…


The following is a guest post by an anonymous author currently navigating her way through a divorce. This post is the first installment a new series, “On Divorce.”

When you’ve been married for 15 years and together for 17 years, you feel as though you know your spouse pretty well.

You can read their body language.

You know what they really mean even though they didn’t come out and tell you.

You even sometimes know what they want more than they do.

Or at least I thought this was the case with my marriage until my husband said those words no wife ever wants to hear…

“I think we need space.”

What do you mean we need space?!

I don’t need space, what the hell do you need space for?

Do you not go fishing whenever you want?

Do you not go workout for hours whenever you want?

Is this a joke?

His explanation in a nutshell was basically that I paid too much attention to our children and not him.

That we’ve forgotten about each other, that maybe we don’t love each other or maybe never even did.

I felt like someone punched me in the stomach.

I could taste vomit in my throat…that pang you get when you know shit is about to go really wrong that just hits you out of nowhere and you’re wondering if this is real or just a nightmare.

I remember thinking I can’t do this. This is not what I signed up for.

Of course marriages go through rough patches.

We can fix this. Let’s do this.

Well that’s a great plan but only if both of you are on board. Apparently I was the lone traveler.

It took me a couple of months to figure that out.

In the meantime, my whole world was ripped apart. My kids’ lives were ripped apart.

There were days where the pain was so unbearable I would scream out to God, “Just end this, I can’t do this.”

I thought I would grow old with this person.

When we got married I never second-guessed any of it. I never had a doubt.

Boy was I wrong.

I started thinking, Did I miss the signs? Was I really the horrible wife he’s now telling me I was? Did I deserve this?

You sometimes even wonder if you’re going crazy…

Stay tuned for the second installment of “On Divorce” in the coming weeks.

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  • Diana
    October 13, 2016 at 6:20 PM

    Not personally experiencing this myself I can say beyond any reasonable doubt the majority of men often resent their children taking so much of our time. They feel they too deserve 24-7 time when in fact they should be giving 24-7 of their time to help alleviate some of the pressures we mothers feel. Men are all about themselves. They feel they go to work and provide for us; even though in today’s day and age most mothers are also working. Men want their cake and eat it to. They want the house clean, the food on the table, and sex at a drop of a hat. Never mind wanting to continue their outside activities while you’re at home cleaning the house and running the kids to all their after school activities. The kids must not only look good but have the ability to act accordingly out in public. What they, husbands, fail to realize that we, mothers, maintain and carry the entire world on our shoulders. Once they’ve had enough of the same ole and realities of life they stop and say “this isn’t what I signed up for.” Shortly they’re out the door and in the arms of yet another woman whose willing to sacrifice her own family for what she believes to be better and grass greener. Unfortunately for the kids being tossed and turned through this they become the pawn in this game. They have no voice and believed to have no reality of the real issue at hand. Once again it is the mother who’s there to comfort and reassure them things will be okay. A mothers role is to always protect her babies and throw herself under the bus to keep them from being hurt. It’s a mothers love for her children that she becomes the mediator between her now ex husband and her children who no longer want any part of this childish game he’s now playing. It’s a mothers continuous job to make a house a home and to always put their needs first without her ex trying to undermine her every move. Divorce is nothing to take lightly. Men are cunning, devious, and never take ownership for their role they played in this whole thing. Now he’s trying to show the community what a wonderful father he is but where was he throughout the time together other than “gone fishing.”

  • Gina
    October 20, 2016 at 6:12 PM

    Thank you for sharing your story and showing the hurt so many woman face. You are truly an inspiration! Can’t wait for the next installment! Keep being a light for others!

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