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The Naughty Mommy’s Lazy Guide to Being Healthy

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No excuses…here’s the lazy guide to being healthy!

lazy guide healthy
This winter has been brutal. I have tried to keep up with my exercising, but I’m failing miserably.

I had been taking my dog for a quick one or two mile run everyday, even in the snowy weather. About two weeks ago, it got way too icy for me.

I set out with Toby and found that there was no good place to step. The streets were icy. Sidewalks were icy. The easement strips were covered in snow that sank down with every step I took. Fun!

I’m trying to cut myself some slack and adopt the attitude of:

Exercise Guide 1

As a result, I’ve come up with a list of shortcuts to being healthy. For when you can’t get out for that morning jog…or out of your pajamas.

Drink more water (duh). I think we all know this, but you actually have to do it for it to work. Some days I swear it feels like all I drink is caffeine and alcohol. Time to insert some huge glasses of water in between my mugs of coffee and my glasses of wine. I have found that having it in a container with a straw helps me drink more. (I have the Camelbak Eddy Bottle.) I also like to put slices of cucumbers in my water…so I can close my eyes and pretend I’m at a spa, instead of cleaning up after a two-year-old who pooped in the bathtub. (Sidenote: Putting ice-cubes in your wine counts for this tip.)

Squeeze your butt cheeks when you’re walking or running. I noticed that I kind of squeeze my butt cheeks when I’m running, so now I make an effort to do it when I’m just walking, too. Every little bit counts!

Naked push-ups. Ever have the feeling like your time in the bathroom is the only free time you get all day? Yeah. Me too. Since I usually manage to treat myself to 10 minutes of shower time each day, I drop and do 25 push-ups right before I get into the shower. No one’s the wiser, except my newly-blossoming tricep muscles.

Tub squats. Speaking of bathroom time, I also get a good twenty minutes in there during my kids’ bath time. While they are trying to drown each other playing nicely, I do my squats next to the tub. (Beware if your child stands up and starts to squat IN the tub, she’s probably not exercising. See “Drink more water” tip above.)

Kegels while driving. There’s not much you can do to improve your health while you’re driving, unless you want to bring a Thighmaster with you. Since I don’t have a Thighmaster (nor do they exist anymore, but you can get something like this), I do my kegels while I’m driving. Do they really do anything? Who knows. But I feel better because I count it as my daily charitable act to my husband.

Side lunges while holding your baby (or your cat). Until very recently, I was up with my infant son a few times a night. Sometimes he required me to rock him back to sleep, but not while in a rocking chair. That would cause him to instantly start screaming. No, he wanted to be rocked while I was standing up, dancing around the room with him. (Yes, I’m a pushover and I’m probably spoiling him. Get over it.) Sometime in my delirium, I developed a sort of dance move/exercise that seems to soothe him…I do side lunges while gently bouncing him. It’s really more like a gentle shaking, but I don’t want y’all getting the wrong idea. SHAKING BABIES IS BAD. DON’T EVER SHAKE A BABY. In case you’re unfamiliar with side lunges, here’s a photo of me doing one:

Side lunge

Hahahahaha just kidding. That is definitely NOT me. It’s a photo from an article called “How to Build a Better Butt.”

Ab work while laying on the floor. Lots of times, my kids like to crawl all over me. Mainly because I’m laying on the floor, wondering when it will be naptime. I’ve started to take the opportunity to do some ab moves while on the floor. Nothing fancy- just your basic crunches. Extra points for doing the Airplane Game and lifting your kids in the air with your feet. (Sidenote: I hate the Airplane Game.)

Lift dumbbells while watching TV. With all my soaps, Bravo, and El Bachelor, I have like a zillion hours of TV to watch each week. I leave my weights next to the couch so that I can get a mini-workout in while I’m shouting at the TV. “Leave Lisa alone, Brandi! Everyone hates you!”

Eat an apple. Did you know that eating one apple can negate the effects of eating five cookies? Okay so maybe I made that up, but eating a bunch of fruits and veggies always makes me feel healthier after a day or week of eating poorly. It also helps when I’m in the middle of a binge session- just eating a carrot stick is enough to change the taste in your mouth and make you stop. Try it!

• Quick workout DVDs. I have tried the trendy P90X and Insanity workout DVDs, but my favorite remains Jillian Michaels. Her 30 Day Shred DVD is what I use to whip my body into shape. I love it because it is SO quick (like 25 minutes) and there are three different levels. You can even stay on Level 1 for a month and still get a tough workout! I’ve recently discovered her 6 Week Six-Pack workout, which I watch on YouTube since I don’t have the DVD. (Both of these DVDs are available on Amazon for $8.)

• Read about working out. So this is definitely the laziest of my tips, but I swear- reading about exercising always makes me want to exercise. I open up Runner’s World and within minutes I’m planning my next run. So what if that plan never comes to fruition? In that moment, I still FEEL healthy…healthier than when I’m on Pinterest pinning cookie recipes. Not into a magazine just about running? At the bottom of this post, there’s a link to Fitness magazine’s free 30 day trial on your iPad, PLUS you get $10 in iTunes money.

So there you have it- my definitely NON-expert tips for getting somewhat healthy.

Tomorrow’s a new month…make the commitment to be better in March. Naked push-ups for everyone!

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  • carrie
    February 28, 2014 at 12:22 PM

    These are great tips! My kids are finally at an age where I can sneak out to the gym and Daddy can hold down the fort for an hour or so. It’s a great excuse to leave, “But I HAVE to look good for you!” 🙂

    • The Naughty Mommy
      February 28, 2014 at 9:02 PM

      Yes I forgot that excuse– don’t you want me to be skinny? Well then I have to leave for an hour or two to go exercise!

  • Allison
    February 28, 2014 at 12:48 PM

    Don’t forget taking the stairs whenever possible and parking your car far away from the Target door to add in some walking. 😉

    • The Naughty Mommy
      February 28, 2014 at 9:02 PM

      And carrying your kid’s car seat (with him in it) everywhere.

  • Jess
    February 28, 2014 at 10:56 PM

    another tip – if you’re son wakes up at 5am everyday for a feeding, feed him, get him back to sleep and go to the gym. i say i am up anyway so might as well get in some “me” time. too bad the mall wasn’t open at that time….

  • Laura
    March 1, 2014 at 4:29 PM

    Just had a cup of coffee….now a glass of wine with ice!!!! LOL reading this!!

  • walk in tub
    September 30, 2014 at 2:48 PM

    walk in tub

    The Naughty Mommy’s Lazy Guide to Being Healthy – The Naughty Mommy

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