Well. If that wasn’t the most stress-inducing episode of Real Housewives of New York I have ever seen, I don’t know what is.
The decision to not drink on weeknights was a rough one last night. I could’ve used a big ol’ glass of Ramona Pinot Grigio to get through the first ten minutes!
I literally had to go upstairs and put calming powder in my water. Here are the 10 noteworthy things about last night’s episode…
10. That opening sequence was the craziest shiz I have ever seen on Real Housewives. To recap, Bethenny was late, Sonja was late, the limo was late, and most importantly…the Bravo cameras were late. Why did we miss the first part of that Heather/Sonja confrontation? Get it together, crew.
9. The 11:oo A.M. struggle of coffee vs. wine is real. All the ladies had their yummy Starbucks drinks on a cold, rainy morning but as soon as they got into the limo it became clear that they needed something stronger.
8. Attempt #746 by Bethenny to get through to Sonja in the limo. “It sounds name-droppy and pretentious. Stop.”
7. “Welcome to Atlantic Titty, the land of big boobs, bad shoes, and short dresses!” –Dorinda.
6. Wait, so Carole and Luann traveled down to A.C. together? And it wasn’t filmed? And we are to believe that they weren’t discussing Adam and arguing? I can’t believe that they are still battling it out (over social media) to this day.
5. “DO YOU THINK THAT I CARE?” –Bethenny, to Sonja. Bethenny is winning this season. She just is.
4. Do you think that a tiny part of Bethenny doesn’t care when she loses money gambling because that’s a few less dollars that Jason can get from her in the divorce? I mean, hearing her say that she is bleeding millions just trying to divorce him is just sad. What a douche. Get a job.
3. “How’d I get the job as The Snatch Guard? If I knew she was gonna flash her snatch, I would’ve switched out the vodka for the club soda.” –Luann, in the funniest line of the season.
2. Carole’s boob shirt. I would like one. Also, is the mismatched shoe thing that Kristen was doing really a thing? Because she totes pulled it off.
1. Dorinda taking the liquor bottles out of Sonja’s hands as she’s blabbering about how she parties with Madonna and John F. Kennedy, Junior “all the time.” Dorinda’s response? “Well John-John’s dead, so that’s difficult.”
So…was this Ramona’s worst birthday ever? Best birthday ever? I guess you have to think about if you’d rather spend your special day with Mario’s wandering eye or a bunch of crazy, drunk bitches.
Bitches all the way!
Image courtesy of Bravo.