My apologies– this is not your typical recap this week.
Who decides to declutter the entire house after being inspired by a book the week of hosting Thanksgiving and having out-of-town guests? Me, apparently.
So here is an abbreviated recap…the Top 10 Highlights from last night’s Vanderpump Rules.
10. Katie has a blog called Pucker & Pout. Not sure if it’s legit or it’s just her flavor-of-the-week hobby. I will tell you, however, that one of the top articles on her home page is “Nail Polish Colors You Will Want to Wear This Spring.” Spring, meaning spring of 2015. She needs to update her site, stat.
9. Jax thinks it’s cool to ask Lala if she is a Mormon and as a follow-up question, do Mormons love anal and blow jobs like he’s heard?
8. “I’ve only been awake 38 seconds and this is already the worst day of my life.” –James.
7. I love Kristen’s self-righteousness in the therapy session. She just wants a young guy to control. She destroyed Tom and now she’s gonna destroy my cute little James. BREAK. UP. I’m honestly shocked that the therapist didn’t advise them to quit on the relationship and cancel the session.
6. Ariana pretends she doesn’t want to get married. Yeah right. She says that, but she’s secretly dying for Tom to propose to her. This is just part of her “I’m a cool girl” shtick.
5. The Toms are branching out from modeling/bartending to liquor-pushers. They are gonna get all dressed up (“upscale casual, like an audition for a Lexus commercial”) and then proposition Lisa. They want to get LVP Sangria into other bars and restaurants. Too bad Pandora and Jason already have that covered.
4. OMG what about a discussion with five people and Bravo camera crews would make Shay feel comfortable? Did he know this was an intervention? This should have been him and Scheana in private.
3. Sorry, but Scheana’s question “Why did you marry me?” is valid. I don’t know why they all jumped on her when she asked Shay that. It’s okay, though. He solved his alcohol and pill addiction during his week at his parents and he’s back home to stay now. Problem solved. Or not.
2. Seriously, Brittany? Going to the interview in your negligie AGAIN? Not bringing a resume AGAIN? Telling Lisa you worked at HOOTERS?!
1. Way to be supportive, Scheana…she says that she can’t be with someone who doesn’t drink at all. She wants him to just drink enough to get a good buzz but not get drunk? Sister better hope that he’s not truly an alcoholic and he was only going through a rough patch! ‘Cause that ain’t how alcoholism works!
P.S. Do pills show up in a urine test?!
Next week: James and Kristen break up. Again. James goes after Lala.