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The ladies of Bev Hills head to the Hamptons for a glam weekend away.
Poor Portia always gets stuck helping her mom pack. The child looks positively bored to tears as she paints her nails while watching Kyle struggle with her “tiny” closet.
Lisa Rinna is in Philly for a QVC appearance, which she does once a month. She is booked in a very un-glam Sheraton Hotel and spends her first hour there sanitizing everything.
I don’t know about you, but there was something very soothing about watching her wipe down all the germy hotel items with her alcohol wipes. Can she travel with me next time and do that?
Erika Jayne/Girardi is having some crises in her 17,000 square foot, five acre home. The hot tub is not full. There is a rotting tree. And she has to pack two separate trunks for her Chicago Gay Pride trip and her Hamptons weekend with the ladies. Better not mix up those trunks, dearie!
Where Kyle has Portia to help her pack, Lisa has Ken to sit there and give commentary on her packing. Ken helpfully informs Lisa that it’s going to rain in the Hamptons this weekend. All weekend. (Which it does not.)
Then they discuss the latest news– that Kim has been arrested for shoplifting $600 worth of stuff from Target.
I must say, that is pretty impressive. I think I’m bad at Target but I’ve never spent more than a couple hundred in one trip. Lisa calls Kyle to offer comfort but Kyle is too upset to speak. Nor does she want to speak about it on camera, I’m sure.
As we continue the montage of Housewives Packing for Trips, Eileen and Vinny argue while Eileen packs. Vinny sees a dress of Eileen’s with a $496 price tag on it. He doesn’t like that. She calls him “creepy.” I can’t figure these two out.
Yolanda didn’t get any sleep at all the night before her surgery to remove all the silicone from her body. She is worried about everyone and everything, should something happen to her.
Well, everything except her marriage which is clearly the one thing she should be worrying about. Do you think David dumped her because she got her breast implants taken out?? Of course he has to make a crude joke about her boobs as they drive to the airport. Jackass.
Erika lunches with her busy husband. They run into the L.A. Chief of Police. Erika eats cake. She calls Vanderpump a “diva” while on the phone discussing the upcoming weekend in the Hamptons. Vanderpump is amused by this.
Rinna is ready for her QVC show. She says that in one hour she makes what she would make in an entire year of owning a clothing boutique. I seriously love her. Is she the best new Housewife in recent history or what?!
Yolanda is prepped for her surgery. Shockingly, David has accompanied her to Ohio. He must have a side meeting with Andrea Bocelli or something. Yo is hopeful that this is the surgery that will give her her life back.
Sidenote: I did not need to see the graphic shot of her implant being removed. Barf.
The ladies make it to the Hamptons…some by cars, some by helicopters. The place where Vanderpump’s party sponsor (Bella magazine) is putting them up has a nightclub set up right outside the rooms. As a result, Kyle and Eileen immediately check out. It’s just too noisy. (I would have done the same.)
Mauricio finds them a house to rent that is absolutely gorgeous. But is it worth the wrath of Vanderpump? Doubtful!
When Vanderpump arrives, she finds the hotel positively delightful. She is slightly pissed at the girls for leaving, but seems to get over it. “In Italy, I was in a room half the size of my bathroom at home and I didn’t say a word,” sniffs Vanderpump.
Anywho, the Bella magazine party happens and everyone gets over it. Eventually. And Vanderpump gets what she really wants…to talk about Kim.
Why is Vanderpump always hell-bent on bringing her up to Kyle?
“My sister Kim right now is a very sensitive topic to me and nobody seems to care!” says Kyle in her confessional. “It’s un-fucking-believable! Do you want me to talk about your stuff that you don’t want me to talk about? Because I can!”
Next week, Erika arrives in the Hamptons and so does Bethenny.