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Eeny Meeny Miney Joe: Bachelor in Paradise Recap

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Lots of shakeups on last night’s Bachelor in Paradise, including one that I totally didn’t see coming.

Here are the Top 10 Highlights from Bachelor in Paradise…

10. “The only guy who followed her was Chris Harrison and that’s probably because he’s paid to do it.” –Ashley I., about Clare walking out of the Rose Ceremony. Speaking of Chris Harrison, did he really tell Clare she’s only been here a week? I could’ve sworn it’s been like three weeks. I guess time stands still in Paradise.

9. Does Juelia have a tongue ring? Why does she always sound like she has marbles in her mouth? And oh dear. Juelia “I May or May Not Have a Tongue Ring” is seriously delusional. Talking about moving to live with Joe and how he would make a great dad? Sure, if you want a raging psychopath for your kid’s stepfather…Joe would be perfect!

8. Carly’s flower headband? No. Just no.

7. Joe and Samantha talking before the show started is not surprising in the least. The way he was so focused on her coming and then she instantly picked him for her date? Couldn’t have been a coincidence. Their making out the entire episode was gross. Also, she seems psycho, too AND there is  a discrepancy with her boob size, as seen below.

On the left side is the footage from filming the show. On the right side is the People magazine shot. Hmmm…

(Photo courtesy of the astute Jennifer C.)


6. OMG Joshua lightly massaging Juelia’s back when she was upset was THE BEST.

5. Love how the whole “villians got a vill” phrase from The Bachelorette has found its way into the Bachelor Nation vernacular. Except I hate when Joe uses it. You’re not a villain, you’re just a loser.

4. Watching Jade and Tanner makes me think how easily it could have been Jade and Jared, but Jared had the misfortune to be out on a date when Jade had to pick a guy for her date.

3. So wait. Carly missed her brother’s wedding to be on Bachelor in Paradise? #priorities Good thing Kirk is unwavering in his love and desire to sleep with you. Oh wait…

2. J.J. keeps getting better and better each week. This week it was his self-deprecating humor about being unemployed and living in his mom’s basement. “But she makes really good meatloaf!” So glad Clare give him her rose.

1. I’m sad about Dan and Ashley S. If they are going to tell us that she’s been acting crazy, can’t they back it up with some footage? All I’ve seen is her being totally normal (ish). As for Juelia…like three different people warned her that Joe was using her. So it’s kind of her own fault.

Tonight’s Rose Ceremony should be interesting. Also, I wonder how the show will stop people from secretly dating prior to the show and then coming on just for the free vacation.

You know what would have been really funny? If they just never brought Samantha on the show and Joe kept waiting…and waiting…and waiting…

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  • Julia
    August 17, 2015 at 7:34 AM

    That would have been great if they did that to Joe.

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