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The Christmas Scarf

No, this is not going to be a sob story about a mom’s dying wish (way to be festive!)  like that insufferable song “The Christmas Shoes.”

This is my sob story about how I have been promising my husband that I would knit him a scarf for the past five years. Pre-marriage, pre-kids.

Here’s the thing– I can only kind of knit. I usually need my sister (an expert knitter) sitting down next to me to help me cast on (start the scarf) and then to fix it when I mess up. This happens a lot.

So I have started several scarves, but whenever my sister leaves…the knitting stops. Yet I still claim that I can knit and five years ago I told my husband I wanted to knit him a scarf for Christmas.

I had him pick out a color (yellow) and I bought some yarn. But every Christmas season, this project gets pushed to the wayside. The past two years, I told myself I would just hunker down Christmas Eve and do it. And it just doesn’t ever happen.

Toys need to be wrapped, Bailey’s Irish Cream needs to be imbibed, and I want to sit and watch movies like Bad Santa or Christmas Vacation.

But this year I AM DOING IT!

I don’t even have a backup gift for him. This is the big one. I thought he would be amazed by my creation, so I have been banking on this scarf. Oops!




People told me about infinity scarves that you make on your arms, without using knitting needles. I thought about that, but ended up back with my knitting needles.

I found a YouTube video that showed me how to cast on and I did it! I even did a row of the knit stitch. Next up: the purl stitch.

My daughter is at school for the morning, my husband is at work, and my son is hopefully napping. (Scratch that– I already hear him talking in his crib. But whatever he’s doing, he’s staying in there for the length of a good nap.)

I am going to sit here at my desk, NOT go on Facebook or Twitter, and knit the shit out of this scarf. And hopefully later I will have some progress pictures for you.

Also working in my favor– my mom is now sick and not coming down for a Christmas Eve lunch. Yes, I feel bad, but now that’s more time I have to knit and less time I need to spend tidying up the house.

Although explaining to my three-year-old that Mimi, Papa, and their whole bag of presents aren’t coming down today after all is going to pose a slight problem. But we’ll manage!

As my husband says, “She will learn early that Christmas is a holiday filled with disappointments!” Have I told you that he is a Grinch?

(Update: My mom is now driving an hour and half to bring the gifts for my kids down anyway, but not coming into the house to infect us. Grandmothers!)

Good luck to everyone running around doing last-minute errands and tasks today, and I’m envious of those who are already at their destinations, relaxing and enjoying the holidays.

If you need to keep the kids busy today, check out this printable Christmas Eve Checklist.

“Merry Christmas! Shitter’s full.” — Cousin Eddie, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

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