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Kathryn, meet Faye. Faye, meet…oh wait, you already know Kathryn and slandered her.
In classic Ken fashion, Ken has taken over the lease on a Beverly Hills sex shop. He wants to turn it into a restaurant. The only problem? He didn’t ask Lisa first. #badmove
Don’t they have enough restaurants? Lisa is not on board.
Kathryn and her husband Donnie go shopping for jewelry to show the viewers they have money. Kathryn tells us she is a Midwestern girl with values. She then tells us that she will NEVER fly anything but first-class. That is for the peasants.
Kyle is planning a BBQ. She invites all the ladies. And also Faye. Kyle hopes it will not be awkward that Faye and Kathryn hate each other. The producers hope for the opposite.
Eileen will not be at the BBQ because she is going to Italy to scatter her sister’s ashes. Will anyone even notice she’s not there?
Lisa Rinna and Kathryn meet for breakfast. We learn that Kathryn’s lips are real (unlike Lisa’s). Rinna wants to know why Kathryn doesn’t have kids. Kind of a personal and rude question if you ask me, but Kathryn says they tried to have kids but couldn’t.
Speaking of Kathryn, Kyle informs Faye that Kathryn is invited to the BBQ. Faye states that she has no interest in talking about Nicole Brown Simpson, but insists she is fine with Kathryn. Yes, Faye, the problem is that Kathryn has a problem with you.
Eileen deals with her guilt over not helping her sister during her final months of terminal cancer. It wasn’t Eileen’s fault, though; her sister Connie never told anyone she was dying. Eileen releases the ashes into the ocean and feels a sense of healing.
It’s time for Kyle’s BBQ (not be confused with Kyle’s White Party). Kyle has hired help for the party, but no one can seem to figure out how to stop the damn trees from dropping leaves on the couches.
Kathryn stops by Lisa Vanderpump’s house to have a spot of tea before they head to Kyle’s. Keeping with her theme of making people uncomfortable in order to maintain the upper hand, Vanderpump welcomes Kathryn into her home and then asks her how old she is.
Kathryn answers the question and then says in her confessional, “Can I ask her how old she is now?”
Already gathered at Kyle’s non-BBQ (she is wearing a dress, heels, and there is no BBQ food) are Rinna, Faye, Yolanda, and Erika. Yolanda announces that in addition to no more implants, there will be no more nail polish, hair dye, or other toxins for her.
Kathryn and Vanderpump arrive and the tension rises immediately. Neither Kathryn OR Vanderpump care for Faye. (Does anyone??)
Vanderpump and Rinna move inside to covertly discuss Faye. “Do you like her?” Rinna asks Vanderpump. Vanderpump explains they had a “thing” a few years ago where Faye was a rude b*tch to her. Cue Faye walking in, so Vanderpump tries to squash the conversation.
Then, FOR NO GOOD REASON, Rinna asks Faye, “Now, why did you and Lisa have a little thing?”
KEEP YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH SHUT, RINNA! Faye tells Vanderpump she is happy to move on; of course, because she was the instigator.
Yolanda goes home.
At the dinner table, Rinna brings up how Yolanda presents a sick and a healthy side to herself. Well, yes…Lyme disease is a chronic illness and you can have good and bad days. It’s not that complicated to understand.
Someone asks about Bella and Anwar having Lyme disease, as well, and Vanderpump says that Mohamed says they do not have it.
Erika sits there wondering why this is even an issue. They should trust Yolanda’s word.
Vanderpump finally says she doesn’t want to talk about this, but the damage is done. Now it is “out there” that Mohamed said his kids don’t have Lyme disease…a fact which he is now denying after seeing last night’s episode.
The talk turns to who has done Playboy at the table. Rinna has, Camille has, and oh yeah, Faye has!
Faye excuses herself to go inside and, of course, Rinna asks Kathryn what her issue with Faye is. Kathryn explains that Faye wrote about her in her book, saying that Kathryn knew her husband Marcus was having an affair with Nicole Brown Simpson. Still, Kathryn admits that she never actually read Faye’s book.
Faye returns to the table and Kathryn believes it’s finally time to confront her. “I feel like I’m being phony by sitting across from you and not addressing the elephant in the room,” says Kathryn. She then tells Faye that she is the reason that Kathryn got dragged into the whole O.J. mess.
Faye sits there silently. She does not want to talk about this. Kyle tells everyone that Faye is an amazing friend.
“You look beautiful, by the way,” Faye tells Kathryn.
WAS THAT THE MOST AWKWARD DINNER TABLE CONVERSATION EVER OR WHAT?
In related news, I HATE Faye and can’t believe she’s going to be on next week, too. Ugh.