Guilty Pleasures TV

Bachelor in Paradise Finale Recap

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Well that was certainly a wild ride in Paradise this summer! I have to say, Bachelor in Paradise is emerging as my favorite summer show (tied with Big Brother). 

And unlike last summer’s Marcus and Lacey, none of this summer’s couples made me want to vomit! Cheers to that!

Here are the Top 10 Highlights from the Bachelor in Paradise finale (plus the scoop from After Paradise)…

10. “You ruined this for everyone.” –Jade to Kirk after he dumped Carly. That’s a little extreme. He ruined it for Carly, certainly, but that’s about it. He was lucky to get out…who wants to date someone who is always spontaneously breaking into song? 

9. WHY DO I LOVE JADE SO MUCH? I hated her on The Bachelor. #wildmustang

8. If you recall, during the previews for the finale we saw that someone with blue fingernails receives a marriage proposal. Jade’s nails are beige. And then purple. Are they tricking us?!

7. I’m not buying this Cassandra and Justin relationship. Please leave.

6. “I feel misunderstood…and like the peoples don’t understand me.” –Jade. Did she just say “the peoples don’t understand me?” That may have been my favorite moment of the whole season. It’s okay, Jade. We (the peoples) understand you. You’re just a wild mustang Playboy playmate looking for love.

5. Samantha is so fake. All of a sudden Nick is her “Prince Charming?” Give me a break. He is just as hot now as he was on Day 1 when you turned him down for a date, bi***. 

4. Much like Juelia, Joshua is another winner at reading body language. The second Tenley walked out to the platform I knew that relationship was doomed. Still, Joshua persevered with his ridiculous speech. Tenley’s reaction? “I like you! But it’s over.”

3. Sooo Joshua is that tied to Idaho that he would choose it over Tenley? Seriously? What’s in Idaho? 

2. And we have the obligatory engagement of Jade and Tanner. I wonder just how much Tanner was pressured by producers. A little bit? A lot? Did they pay him? Did he just want the Neil Lane ring paid for? If that’s the case, I mean, it’s kind of a smart move. (Or a really dumb one.)

1. Here is what happened on After Paradise…

  • First, a request: can we stop parading Sean and Catherine around on every season of Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor in Paradise? We get it. They are one of the only couples to remain a couple. But they are boring and lame as hell. 
  • Cassandra and Justin are no longer together. Surprise! She is dating previous Paradise reject Jonathan!
  • Tenley and Joshua remain broken up.
  • Amber called in to give us on update on herself Nick and Samantha (her BFF). She says they are definitely still a couple and they go on vacations together. 
  • Shocker, Carly is still pissed at Kirk. And Kirk still seems terrified of Carly. 
  • Jade and Tanner are still engaged and their relationship is even better than it was in Paradise

And that’s a wrap! Sigh. I guess summer’s really over now. 

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  • becca
    September 8, 2015 at 2:07 PM

    I def looked at the same thing you did..i kept looking at all the girls nails to see who got engaged. I didn’t think it was jade because her nails were purple and I was looking for blue and the guy had a “yellow” shirt on too…tanners was blue

    • Lindsay
      September 9, 2015 at 3:07 PM

      There was some editing trickery going on!