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Sonja is caught off guard by Bethenny’s harsh response to Sonja’s new brand of prosecco, Tipsy Girl.
The Countess has packed her bag(s) and moved into the fifth floor of Chateau Mor-ganne, pronounced in an entirely different way than Sonja usually says her last name of Morgan.
It’s secluded, plus there’s a bidet and a tiny fridge in case Luann wants to entertain. Which she most likely will…but what she really wants is to settle down with a nice man who owns a place in the city.
Also needing to settle down is Sonja’s bubbly and unrealistic view of her life. Yes, Sonja, you need to put the heat on in the winter. No, Sonja, Bethenny is not going to like you using the name “Tipsy Girl” for your prosecco. Even Luann can see that.
“She [Bethenny] wants me to do well,” Sonja lies to herself.
Meanwhile, Bethenny (who definitely does not want Sonja’s Tipsy Girl business to do well) meets Ramona and Carole for drinks. She tells them that Sonja has asked to come by Bethenny’s office tomorrow, because she’s her mentor. Apparently. This is news to Bethenny, BTW.
The ladies conclude that Sonja is cunning, narcissistic, and definitely knew what she was doing when she named her brand Tipsy Girl.
Speaking of tipsy girls, Dorinda and Ramona have breakfast at Sarabeth’s and damn I’m hungry. (True story– I was craving McDonald’s pancakes this morning so I pulled into the drive-thru at 10:31 and they wouldn’t give them to me. It was apparently lunch time. So I got tacos at Taco Bell. Don’t judge!)
Dorinda and Ramona discuss the John Situation yet again. Dorinda needs Ramona to try to like him or even pretend to like him. Ramona needs John to not act creepy. (We all do.)
Over at Skinnygirl HQ, Bethenny tells her staffers she was up til 4:00 A.M. with her date. It’s a man she has known a long time and she sees potential. WHO IS IT?!?!
Sonja arrives. Awkward!
Since Bethenny has proclaimed this her “season of zero f*cks,” she gives no f*cks about pretenses or even being polite. She hammers Sonja with questions about her website, her distributors, and her clothing line that isn’t in any stores before flat-out telling her that Tipsy Girl is a “cheater brand” and she wants nothing to do with her.
This causes Sonja to start crying about how she looks up to Bethenny and is just trying to sell her little prosecco line at restaurants and she needs to “get back to where she was.”
This line is repeated several times, that Sonja needs to get back to where she was. Well, I have a harsh truth for you, Sonja. You got where you were by marrying a rich old man. And with no visible talents or viable products, it seems like marrying another rich old man is your only ticket for “getting back to where you were.”
Jules is looking for a new nanny because her last one abruptly quit after taking her Christmas bonus. Hmm…
Thankfully, an Uber driver recommended this next candidate for the nanny position, Shyma. Shyma almost passes Jules’ nanny test which includes questions like:
- Can you pick out a suitable outfit for my daughter for preschool?
- Do you wait in lines a.k.a. will you wait in sample sale lines for me?
- Do you speak Spanish?
The applicant is not 100% fluent in Spanish, so she fails, but really she seemed pretty darn fluent to me. Also, I love Jules’ claim that Michael ONLY speaks Spanish to the kids. I’ve seen him with the kids all season long and he’s never once spoken Spanish to them. Get over yourselves.
Carole and Adam are writing a vegan cookbook together. Well, Carole is writing. Adam is only allowed to provide recipes and look cute. Carole is also fostering a kitten, a.k.a. will probably end up adopting him.
The drunkiest of the crew (minus Dorinda) hit up Sushi Roxx. By this I mean that Luann, Sonja, and Ramona are loud, they break a wine glass, and drop a tidbit about Luann being a squirter. Thanks for making me barf, Ramona.
The ladies head over to an event hosted by John for some fashion designer. Because dry cleaners apparently throw guest-list-only events.
Pardon me. “High-end dry cleaners.” My mistake.
What seems to be a rather dull party quickly gets interesting when a colorful character named Rey shows up.
Rey is an ex of Luann’s. Luann spies him out of the corner of her eye and makes a beeline for the exit, but not before Rey has a breakdown, tells her he loves her, asks for a kiss, and claims to be sober, which he most certainly is not.
“Are you high?” Luann asks him. If I had to answer for Rey I would say, “Yes. Indeed he is.”
Luann runs out the door, leaving Rey behind to slur some words to Ramona and Sonja, who find Rey positively delightful! The trio gets loud and John ambles over to tell Rey to leave. Because, really, who is he and why is he here at John’s A-list dry cleaning party? This is invite only, buddy. Not even Ramona was invited! (But she still went.)
A belligerent Rey does not want to leave and Ramona defends him to John. Things get loud and John puts his hand in Ramona’s face. This is supposedly a big deal, but is it really? Ramona and Rey leave. Dorinda follows them outside. More yelling.
Rey tries to be all BFFs with Ramona like, “Yeah, we’re leaving. Come on, Ramona!” and Ramona pushes him off her and says “I’m not with you.”
Rey leaves, Ramona leaves, and Dorinda leaves. She is mad at John, too.
For once I don’t think John did much wrong here.
Some thoughts about the Rey situation…
- Luann dated this hot mess?
- He clearly wants to be on TV.
- Why was Ramona defending him? I guess because she hates John.
- WE NEED MORE REY.
That whole situation was just…odd. Here’s to hoping Rey makes many more drunk appearances this season on Real Housewives of New York! Cheers!