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Why does everyone have such piss-poor judgment on Bachelor in Paradise? Oh right. The alcohol.
Alright I’m just going to say it– ain’t nobody gonna find “love” on Bachelor in Paradise.
Jade and Tanner’s engagement (on last season’s BiP) and subsequent marriage is the only success story thus far and really, they’ve only been married for like a year and they don’t have any kids yet. So of course it’s easy for them.
I think all the producers really want is an entertaining show with lots of alcohol-fueled drama. I can’t blame them, but I just want to be upfront and say that to all you hopeless romantics, I doubt any of these couples are going to stay together.
With that said, I can’t get enough of this show. I binged on both of this week’s episodes today and I was left desperately wanting more.
Here are 5 Things About Bachelor in Paradise This Week…
5. My conflicting feelings about Daniel. I hated Daniel on JoJo’s season of The Bachelorette. He was too full of himself for seemingly no reason. I don’t think he’s all that cute, except he has a bangin’ body. Also, he liked Chad, so that’s questionable behavior right there. BUT when he gave his rose to Sarah this week, my heart melted a little bit. Who among us doesn’t want Sarah to find love? Daniel could have easily given his rose to Leah, who basically promised him sexual favors if he kept her around….but he gave the rose to Sarah. And then the champagne mini-picnic he threw for her? Adorable. I am a little shocked that Sarah is even considering him, though. But I kinda like it!
4. Evan. Speaking of people I feel sorry for, let’s talk about Evan. He got dumped by Carly, contemplates leaving Paradise, and then decides to go for Amanda?! What in his brain is telling him that he has a chance in hell that Amanda will come up for air from sucking face with Josh and agree to even speak to Evan? It’s just not happening, bud.
3. Josh and Amanda. Amanda, hon, you claim to be looking for a good guy to be a father to your kids. This is the best you could do? You dropped Nick Viall for this douchebag with rage issues? As for the constant making out…do they stop to eat? Does Josh ever burp in Amanda’s mouth? Does he HAVE to make those moaning noises when he’s in the presence of others? If Amanda shows such poor judgment to pick Josh and say that she “trusts him” literally 15 minutes after meeting him, then Nick dodged a bullet here. Good luck with this relationship, Amanda. You’ll need it! (Just ask Andi.)
2. Who is Brandon? Ummm. Who are you? Who? Desiree’s season? I barely remember Desiree, because she was so un-memorable. So I definitely don’t remember this guy. Unfortunately for Carly, though, Brandon does remember the twins. And Brandon likey. If only he could tell the difference between the two.
1. I heart the twins. In related news, I now love the twins. Sure they are a little intelectually-challenged, but they are fun and funny. Please don’t leave, twins. If you do have to leave, though, please take the following people with you and leave them on the side of the road: Josh and Amanda. Oh and Evan. Maybe a lonely señorita will pick him up…
Images courtesy of ABC.