This post may contain affiliate links. Read full disclosure policy here.
I had delusions that I would be a perfect mother that lasted, oh, about two days after I had a baby. Here’s proof that we’re all just trying to survive…
Everyone wants to be the perfect parent. Some people even pretend to be.
I, on the other hand, am far from perfect. Which I learned this week after being told my a person on my Facebook page that I was handling my four-year-old’s “I won’t wear pants” issue all wrong– I simply needed to tell her to put the pants on and she must obey.
Here are my 17 parenting confessions. Do they sound familiar?
1. When my two-and-a-half-year-old won’t stop whining or bothering me, I give him his pacifier that is supposed to be only for naps and bedtime.
2. When I was attempting to potty train said two-year-old, I wasn’t paying attention to his “cues” and he shit on my laptop.
3. Sometimes (like on days when they shit on my computer) I need a glass of wine just to make it through the afternoon until Daddy gets home.
4. My kids don’t always brush their teeth before bed.
5. Or wash their hands before meals.
6. I let them watch way too much TV.
7. I have, on occasion, given in to demands for Oreos for breakfast.
8. I don’t follow through on threats like, “I’m throwing away all your toys!” or “Santa isn’t coming this year!”
9. I yell at my kids. A lot. (But slowly getting better.)
10. I have let my child who won’t wear socks or pants outside in a dress with flip-flops in the winter.
11. Some days I HATE staying home with my kids and I want to run out the door the second my husband walks in.
12. I throw away 95% of the “art” that comes home with my preschoolers.
13. My third child feeds himself his bottle while propped up on pillows on the floor.
14. I have pretended not to smell a poop diaper if my husband is also in the room. “Oh, the baby has poop? No, I had no idea.”
15. I freaking hate doing arts and crafts.
16. I curse so much that my four-year-old has come out with such gems as “f***” and “godammit.”
17. The best part of my day is when I have put all three kids to bed. Freedom!
Did this post hit home with you? Then you’d LOVE my eBook, “Must Love Wine: On Giving Birth, Why Pregnancy Sucks, and How Bravo Helped My Marriage.”
It’s just $3.99 for a collection of honest, refreshing essays about marriage and parenting in a Pinterest-perfect world. Read it on your Kindle or download the free Kindle app and read it on your smartphone or tablet!