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When the Ship Hits the Fan: Real Housewives of Orange County Recap

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Vicki finds herself on the outs of the social circle as Season 11 begins…will the ladies forgive her for her role in Brooks’ cancer scam?

The Real Housewives of Orange County - Season 11

Welcome to Season 11 with the O.G.’s of the Real Housewives franchise!

Bravo starts off with a little split-screen action of the ladies, which I am not liking. Dumb. Lose it.

Little Miss Meghan is attempting in-vitro fertilization to get pregnant. This is necessary because Jimmy had a vasectomy years ago. Luckily, he had some sperm frozen, so they aren’t totally out of luck.

Meghan claims that Jimmy wants a baby so that he doesn’t lose her. Always a good reason to have a child. 

In completely unrelated but very silly news, Jimmy is now a candle-maker. He is selling/making/hawking candles…on this website, according to Meghan, where I waited approximately sixty seconds for it to load and then I lost interest.

Heather and Terry are still quarreling over his busy work schedule, but I don’t see Heather complaining about the money it brings in. How else will they afford that hotel they are building?

We also learn that Terry had a health scare last winter. Some test showed something wrong with his heart, but it ended up being wrong. Obviously, they are going to throw a party in honor or the health scare. Obviously.

Vicki tells us she has lost weight, lost some inches on her hair, and lost Brooks.

So basically, she is alone and miserable, yet looking good.

Shannon and David are in the best place their marriage has ever been in, which hopefully means no more fake funerals.

Also, Shannon claims to be over David’s affair. According to her therapist, it takes about two years and that is just where Shannon is.

Other updates on the Beador household include: her daughters remain feisty (especially 11-year-old Stella who wants a boyfriend), the girls want a dog, and they are looking for a new, smaller house.

“If someone says we’re downsizing because we can’t afford it, I really don’t care,” says Shannon. “We’re downsizing because we want to.”

Verdict? Money troubles.

As one of the first steps of Meghan’s IVF journey, her doctor is having a look around at her cervix and uterus. Meghan has a problem with needles, so they give her a sedative before the procedure (with a needle).

Ummm I also have a needle problem so I don’t need to ever see that shit on TV again. This is my relaxing time, Bravo.

P.S. Jim is conveniently out of town (as usual), so Meghan’s mom accompanies her. Is anyone really buying the fact that Jim wants a fifth child?

In Heather Dubrow’s World, there are big problems. Trees are not centered in their planters and Heather doesn’t know if she should invite Vicki to her boat party. Tamra is leaning towards a big fat “Hell no.”

Tamra has not talked to Vicki in months, save the occasional text, which Tamra claims always has the theme of “I’m the victim and you guys wronged me.”

Meghan introduces us to her friend Kelly. Kelly is outgoing, fun, and also went through IVF. I have a feeling not everyone in the O.C. gang will welcome this Kelly with open arms…

Vicki is ecstatic because Briana is moving back to Orange County, albeit with her a**hole husband. Things are supposedly better between Vicki and Briana now that Vicki and Brooks have split.

Heather calls Vicki to invite her to the yacht party. Vicki acts all surprised, but like, hi! You’re filming a show with these b*tches. How surprising could it be that Heather is inviting you to a filmed event?

Shannon and Tamra (current BFFs) get some sort of facelift facial that is not actually a facelift.

Kelly’s home life is revealed to us. She is Mexican and family is very important to her. Both her mom and her brother live with them. Also, there is a bar on every floor of her house so #IheartKelly.

It’s time for the yacht party that will be celebrating life and Terry Dubrow’s health. But with pink-themed decor.

Kelly arrives and meets all the ladies. FYI, Shannon seems to hate her and everyone else loves her.

Vicki’s entrance causes some awkwardness, but luckily she has ex-O.G. of the O.C. Jeana on hand to help a sister out. After Heather’s toast to Terry’s health, Vicki pulls Heather aside to say she’d like to move on and be friends again.

She asks for forgiveness, but doesn’t actually say “I’m sorry,” IF we’re being nitpicky, which I assure you, Heather is…

And that’s it for the premiere. So far I like Kelly a lot and I’m sad that Shannon is being so cold towards the new girl again.

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