Hi, I’m Lindsay and I’m a Bravoholic.
I watch (and recap) all the Real Housewives’ shows. I feel like the ladies on the shows are my BFFs.
My husband frequently says to me, “Stop being dramatic. This isn’t one of your Housewives’ shows.”
I daydream of how I could get a job working for Bravo, even though I live two hours outside of NYC. (Anyone hiring blog ghostwriters? Aviva, perhaps?)
Here are eleven signs that you, too, may be a Bravoholic…
1. Andy Cohen is your God. You’ve read his book, you watch his show nightly, you’d turn him straight and marry him if you could. (In Andy We Trust.)
3. You fantasize about moving to California to become Jeff Lewis’ latest intern. I mean, there’s no way you could suck more than Andrew, right?
4. When you check into a hotel, the first thing you do is see if they have Bravo on TV. WHY DO THEY NEVER HAVE BRAVO AT HOTELS?!?!
5. You know that not all Housewives are created equal. For every fabulous Lisa Vanderpump or Bethenny Frankel, you will have a handful of duds. Like Cindy Barshop from RHONY. Quinn from RHOC. Mary Amons from RHODC. (Or even an entire franchise that’s a dud. Cough–RHODC-Cough.)
6. For you, Throwback Thursday is all about which old season of Real Housewives that Bravo’s going to marathon…not about posting selfies from your twenties.
7. You think shit like “Jenni Pulos Smothers Bravolebrities With Her Bush” is funny.
8. You are willing to give even the lamest of Bravo’s shows a chance. Shows like Blood, Sweat and Heels. Southern Charm. That boating one.
9. You know each Housewife’s drink of choice, as well as Terry Dubrow’s favorite food. (Onion rings.) To find out “What’s Your Real Housewives Signature Drink?” take this quiz!
10. You live for the “Summer By Bravo” commercials. Because they’re amazing.
11. You have an entire subset of vocabulary words and phrases you have learned from Bravo shows. “Ingredientses.” “A hairy grill.” “Naked-wasted.” “Bye, Felicia.”
Have most or all of these items rang true for you? Well then it’s official. You’re a Bravoholic.
There’s no cure yet, but stay tuned…husbands all across America are desperately working to find one!