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10 Things We Learned from The Vanderpump Rules Reunion, Part Two

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James and Lala come under fire in the second installment of the always scintillating Vanderpump Rules Reunion!

Vanderpump Rules - Season 4

My initial thoughts as I watched Part Two of the Vanderpump Rules Reunion…

Do we really need to see Tom Schwartz’s proposal to Katie again? Why must Lisa Vanderpump be there like a referee? Oh dear– Lala’s makeup has not improved since Part One.

Despite the fact that all the best stuff will surely come in Part Three of the Reunion, here are 10 Things We Learned from the Vanderpump Rules Reunion, Part Two:

10. Andy digs deep with the Tom/Katie sex drought issue. Katie claims it was only 2.5 weeks after getting engaged that they did not have sex. She also says that they are not a “horny couple.” Tom counters that they are “not NOT a horny couple.” He also says that he goes through asexual phases. That should bode well for their marriage, since they clearly don’t have the greatest sex life and it’s only gonna get worse.

9. Ariana continues her lie that she doesn’t want to get married. Ariana, the jig is up. We know you’re not the “cool girlfriend” and we know you secretly DO want to get married.

8. Brittany claims that she got the boobs SHE wanted, not the ones Jax seemingly forced her to get. Brittany looks great and comes off as an intelligent-ish, sweet girl, who is aware of Jax’s “issues,” but is still truly in love with him. Am I really rooting for this couple?! #help

7. We got to re-live the embarrassing attempt by The Toms to be “brand ambassadors” for LVP Sangria. Ahhh, laughs all around. Good times.

6. Ariana feels that SUR is the most toxic environment in the world. “Toxic as f*ck,” to quote her. SO THEN LEAVE.

 


5. Scheana’s texting of Ariana’s mom comes up. Ariana insists that her mom never told Scheana she was concerned about her relationship with Tom. I’m taking Scheana’s side on this. I can’t see her going out of her way to text Ariana’s mom something she knew would stir sh*t up. It just doesn’t make sense. And shame on Ariana’s mom for letting Scheana take the fall for this.

4. Katie can’t admit that her problem with Lala is that she is just jealous and threatened by her. It seems clear to me…

3. Brittany is questioned by Andy about seeing the episodes featuring Jax’s insanely inappropriate flirtation with Lala before Brittany moved out to L.A. Andy wants to know if Jax warned her about what she would see in the episodes. He did not. Scheana warned Brittany about it. How thoughtful of Jax!

2. Jax has supposedly changed his tune about marriage…since it’s important to Brittany, it’s now important to Jax.

1. OMG why is Lisa bringing up Stassi leaving SUR and ditching her friends like two years ago? She needs to get over that. Lisa owes just as much to Stassi as Stassi does to Lisa. Stassi was the f*cking star of this show when it came on the air. 

Hey you! Stick around. My spidey senses tell me you might be interested in the following posts…

pump

PumpRules Reunion Part 1

rhobh

Lymes in the Sand: RHOBH Recap

Image courtesy of Bravo.

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