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The official statement reads that Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray have simply parted ways, but will “continue to be great friends.”
So lame and so obviously untrue. What couple ever has a no-reason, no-fault split?!
Sigh. I guess there is no book deal like this in Andi’s future.
Here are some (slightly more scandalous) theories I have as to why Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray could possibly have split…
Oh, and props to my girl Claire Byrne for totally calling this breakup on Monday night, based on how vigorously Andi was rubbing Josh’s back during the live Bachelor premiere event. (I was too busy trying to figure out what Clare Crawley and Michelle Money were whispering about in the audience.)
10 Possible Reasons Why Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray Split
1. Andi finally found out what Josh’s lie detector test results from the show said…and it was a lot worse than not washing his hands after going to the bathroom (ahem, Dylan).
2. Josh just couldn’t get over the fact that Andi also banged Nick Viall in the Fantasy Suite (and then Nick announced it on live TV).
3. Andi revealed that she (gasp!) actually hates football, and Josh’s family immediately banished her.
4. Andi dug deep behind Josh’s dumb jock exterior and found…a dumb jock. Plus a beer belly when he’s not required to work out for his Bachelorette gig.
5. Their plans to produce, film, and star in VH1’s “The Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray Variety Show,” a sure reality TV ratings goldmine, were nixed, so what’s the point of staying together?
6. Josh prefers his ladies wear something other than a sheet to a red carpet premiere event. Yes, Andi said that she sewed this “dress” on the plane from $15 of cloth.
7. After watching the premiere of the Chris Soules Bachelor season, Andi realized Chris was The One and is now plotting a dramatic intervention for the live After the Final Rose special. Hint: it involves a plane flying inside the studio saying “ANDI LOVES CHRIS.”
8. Likewise, Josh also saw the premiere of the Chris Soules Bachelor season and thought that a girl like Britt (hot, dumb, likes to give hugs) might be a better fit for him than Andi. Andi likes to use big words and stuff.
9. Now that Nikki and Juan Pablo are broken up, Nikki convinced Andi that they should be single besties together and move to L.A. Surely, fame and fortune will follow, right?
10. Josh heard that ABC was now casting for season 2 of Bachelor in Paradise and well, Andi kind of hampered his plans to be on it and bang all of Chris’s castoffs.
So there you have it– my totally plausible theories as to why Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray broke up.
I’m assuming Neil Lane gets his rock back?
If you liked this post, check out “I Will Reluctantly Watch the Chris Soules Bachelor Season…If I Must” or “The Teresa Guidice Jail Survival Guide.”
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Images courtesy of ABC.